One Reason You're Not Husband Material

Guys, I often write about how there isn't suitable, compatible wife material for you to marry. But another reason you should avoid marriage (or at least, a reason you can tell others when they ask you why you're not married) is that you aren't husband material. This isn't an insult, mind you.

Below is a list put together through listening to Dr. Laura for many years. She is very pro-marriage and used to do marriage and family therapy.

If a woman is looking for a man to be a husband and father to her children, this is the kind of employment he must have. This is just about his job. This doesn't even cover all of the other qualities he must have. If you don't have a job like this, you're not (first) husband material, and so you shouldn't marry. (And, if you don't marry during the child-raising years, then you're not going to be marriage material later on, because you didn't marry earlier, which means you're not the type to commit to marriage.)

A (first) husband has to have a job that, in no particular order...



1) Allows him to be home for family dinner and rarely requires overtime

2) Has regular days off every week so he can spend time with the wife and kids and rarely requires extra days

3) Doesn't have a long or difficult commute

4) Won't have him physically touching female coworkers or interacting with them in close quarters, in private, or travelling with them, or in social or semi-social situations with them (like happy hours)

5) Won't have him keeping in touch with coworkers outside of work hours and work days

6) Won't have him travelling, except rarely

7) Won't move him, which would uproot the family

8) Is stable

9) Is secure

10) Is not his family's (parent, sibling, etc.) business

11) Allows him to turn down assignments because they'd be too stressful

12) Pays him enough to: support a wife, kids; pay for a residence that will just be the nuclear family and in which siblings or at least opposite sex siblings each have their own room; hire lawyers to go to war; and pay for his and/or her elderly parent(s) to have bonded professional care, around the clock if needed; pay for private investigators and lie detector tests; pay for private/boarding/military school; save up for future living and care expenses so you'll never be burden on your children

13) Provides benefits or pays enough to cover benefits, in addition to paying for everything above

14) Is legally, morally, and ethically upstanding

Guys, if your job doesn't meet these criteria, you're in the overwhelming majority of men, even more so if you're 40 or younger. And you're not husband material. Condition number 9 alone eliminates most private sector jobs, and the lockdowns we experienced in 2020 and 2021 show that very few jobs have numbers 8 and 9.

Ladies, if you want children, don't marry a guy who doesn't meet these criteria, or you'll be causing a lot of problems for yourself and your children.

Now, Dr. Laura will tell guys to find a job that meets this criteria so that you can marry and have children. However, there are only so many jobs out there like this. Creating your own usually isn't possible. Self-employed people generally don't have security or a fixed, 40-hour workweek.

So guys, this is a big reason not to marry. Men who don't have a wife or children to support don't have to earn nearly as much money. Or, if they do earn more money, they have the freedom to decide what to do with it. You can live in a better place. You can take more trips. You can retire earlier. You can give more to charity. You can make it more likely you will have great professional care in your convalescence.  It's up to you. No woman has veto power over it.