Beware the Prom

It’s that time of the year again. Magazines like Seventeen thrive on this. It’s prom season. Yes, it’s that ritual that, like high school in general, has been amazingly overblown by a media fixation. Kids are conditioned to believe that missing the prom would be missing out on an important rite of passage, and that this is an event that requires spending to the hilt. Only a loser would miss it and not go “in style”, right? Not going will cause a lifetime of regret!

For many girls prom is like practicing for their wedding – they pick out a special dress, they have a guy spend a lot of money on them and dance with them, and they get treated like a princess. It’s all about them. Only, this time, unlike their wedding, there are a bunch of other girls also going through the same thing. Just like weddings, many guys go along with it thinking there will be sex when it is over.

Don’t believe this is really all about the girls?

--How much media targeted at teenaged boys focuses on the prom?
--When do boys ever like getting dressed up for a social event?
--What boy spends a significant amount of time picking out something to wear to the prom?
--What boy looks forward to dancing in a formal with school officials monitoring?

I rest my case. This is all about the girls. The same girls who are already having a huge deal made about them at their Bat Mitzvah, Quinceanera, and Sweet Sixteen parties. Heck, the hot girls, barring effective parental objection, get to go to the prom four years in a row.

Hey, that’s fine. But teenaged girls can work now, just the same as boys. So perhaps the girls should be covering the costs of prom?

Boys should really think long and hard about whether or not they want to go the prom, especially if they will be paying. Perhaps they've accepted it as "something you do." But they shouldn't. Gay boys may want to go to make a statement by dancing together - that's still shocking and bold in some places, apparently. But as for straight boys… if they don’t really want to, they shouldn’t. It’s really not all it is cracked up to be, at least not for boys. If they are going because they think it will lead to sex, well, they’re better off just showing up at one of the after-parties.

Of course, if a boy is in a relationship, it will be hard for him to avoid going. However, high school boys really shouldn’t be in relationships in the first place. They should be focusing on their studies, sports, and hobbies, and casually dating around to help them learn more about themselves and what kind of girls they like and interact with well. Being in a relationship in high school is too stifling and subject to too much distracting drama.

I don’t condone fornication. I especially don’t condone fornicating with someone under the age of consent, or when you are a high school student who can ill afford to risk being a parent. However, if a boy is going to indulge his hormones, he should at least protect himself and his wallet as much as possible. So, to those boys I offer this:

1) Try to avoid going to the prom. Go to an afterparty instead.
2) If you must go, try to get her to pay (they really want to go, and just might be desperate enough to pay),... or go stag.
3) Make sure you have “protection” and that you can use it effectively.
4) If she ever says “no”, “don’t”, or “stop”, stop immediately, regardless of what she is doing, and leave. Do not continue, do not sit there to "talk". Get the heck out of there and pray she doesn't make up a false accusation.
5) Do not be surprised if she gets psycho on you afterwards, rumors are circulated about you, you come down with something painful, or you get a “guess what, I’m pregnant” call over the summer.

Kathy M. Kristof gives tips in the Los Angeles Times about cutting prom costs.

David Lee, 18, figures he'll spend $400 to $450 to participate in an annual rite of spring -- the senior prom. And he's only half of the equation.

While Lee picks up the tab for the prom, dinner and limo, his date is likely to shell out an equal amount for her dress, hair and makeup. That makes the couple's senior prom roughly a $1,000 evening.

Is it really worth it? I don’t think so.

Lee says he's tried to cut costs at proms and other formal and semiformal events. The problem, he says, is that the girls call the shots: where to eat, what limo to rent, where to go afterward. "Our dates, who don't have the burden of paying for it, usually make the bulk of the decisions."

The girls don't exactly dictate, he adds, but "their opinions weigh heavily on what we decide to do."

Then simply let her pay. Grow some testicles. If you pay, you call the shots. If she wants to call the shots, she pays. What's the worse that can happen? She dumps you? Fine. Aren't you going off to different colleges in a few months anyway?

Men need to stick up for boys and come up with an alternative to prom or perhaps a reciprocal celebration. Kind of like how “Steak and BJ Day” is the reciprocal to Valentine’s Day. The difference is, though, that S&BJ Day is perfectly fine for married men, but like I said, I wouldn’t want to encourage fornication, especially in teens. Hmmm… maybe a day where the guys get to use the latest gaming consoles on the biggest televisions, while the girls do barbecue for them? And no talking about the relationship or where it is "going."