Does A Woman's Body Count Matter?

Does a woman's body count matter?

Matter for what?

It doesn't matter too much for a man who is running game.

It can matter a lot if you're looking for a wife (which most of you shouldn't be) or a mother for your children.

This isn't about what it is fair. This is about reality. This is about the way things are, whether we like them or not. Men and women are different. We have different bodies, different biology, different brains.

When running game, a man avoids virgins (men should avoid virgins in general) and women who aren't virgins but are now "saving it" or "waiting" for marriage, engagement, exclusivity, or several months into the relationship. As long as she doesn't have a serious STD, doesn't have children, and does what he likes, it doesn't matter how many guys she's been with (as long as she isn't a virgin). (There are other limitations on who to date, though.)

If a man is foolish enough to agree to be exclusive, shack up, marry, or have children with a woman, body count is going to matter to many men. There are many reasons why, in no particular order:

1. A high body count for a woman is usually not as simple as "She's a healthy woman who simply likes sex a lot." It is often (not always!!!) a sign of some sort of problem, whether trauma from her past, a disorder, a lack in confidence that she has anything else going for her, or any number of other concerning possibilities.

2. She might have difficulty bonding with a lover. Sex is one of the few things a man can do for a woman that she can't do for herself (although toys are getting more and more lifelike). Having a real man focused on meeting your needs and being there for you is different from masturbation. If she is so used to sex partners being temporary, this can be something that doesn't have the potency (no pun intended) it might have if her count was low.

3. Is she disloyal? How much of her body count is from cheating? How much of it from her dumping one guy and getting right into bed with the next? Men are reluctant to invest so much when she might leave or cheat at a the drop of a hat.

4. Does she lack self-control or discipline? See number 3. While men are sexually attracted to a wide variety of women and can enjoy intercourse with a woman we don't know, most women have a much narrower range of men to whom they are attracted. Much of the sex a high body count woman might have had wasn't because she was aching to have sex with those men, but rather because she didn't have the strength to turn it down, or wanted to use it as a loss leader, or for some other purpose than delighting in the act itself.

5. Some women get bored of sex. No, it's not just that the man gets boring. Many women, if they've "been there, done that" lose enthusiasm. A high body count can mean that she's going to be studying the ceiling and waiting for it to be over. Anything he wants to do, if she agrees, will be something she's already done a lot and doesn't find exciting. This is certainly not all women, but it is some.

6. STDs. Thankfully, testing and treatment can somewhat deal with this, but she has to be willing to get tested and follow through.

7. Whether biology backs it up or not, some men don't want to "be" where "too many" other men have been, or want their baby growing in, or delivered through, such places, especially where so much semen from other men has been absorbed.

8. Male sexual ego can be fragile. He might be concerned that he won't measure up literally and figuratively, and unless he's unusual, when it comes strictly to sex and penis size, he probably won't as she's probably had bigger and better.

9. Many men want to feel like they're special, and that winning over a particular woman is an achievement. That is undermined when there are so many other men out there who were with her when she had more youth, especially if they didn't have to commit or sacrifice the way he has or would, and especially if he's going to keep bumping into these men as he goes about his days.

10. If she professed to be a follower of a particular religion/tradition that condemns such activity during the time she accumulated this high body count and expects the man to be living by the rules of that religion/tradition, there will have to be a lot of 'splainin'. Example: He can't watch porn "because it is against our religion" but she was riding the "c*ck carousel" for years while claiming to be a faithful follower of the same religion. "It's traditional for husbands to [fill in the blank with some major task or burden put on husbands]." Yeah, well, it's traditional the wife is a virgin, too.

Women are, of course, free to refuse to be with men who have a high body count, but no, it's just not the same. A high body count for a man doesn't have to be "OK" for it to still be different. And it is different.

It's different for many reasons.

It means he understands women and is capable of doing what they want.

Women want men other women want. His having a high body count indicates he's wanted by women.

Any woman can get sex anytime she wants. Men can't. Men have to work for it. Men are generally expected to pursue, impress, persuade, seduce. So, a high body count is an accomplishment for men.

For men, sex usually doesn't involve him absorbing body fluids from women inside his body.

Men generally don't have to hold delusional fantasies in order to have sex with a woman.

What is a high body count? That's in the eye of the beholder. First, we have to decide what counts as a "body." I'd say it counts if he had his penis anywhere inside her, or his tongue anywhere inside her other than her mouth, or if her tongue/lips touched his genitals or butthole. Yes, it counts regardless of who the guy was or where, geographically, this was, whatever the reason she consented to do it, and even if she never told anyone about it. We know women often don't count certain sexual encounters, even though they should be counted. I'd say being with a woman also counts in the body count.

Secondly, what total number is too high? Again, it depends. Of course women are expected to have had more lovers the older they are. If she's 21 and she's had ten, that's going to be far more concerning than if she's 35 and had 15. Each guy needs to figure it out for himself, but I'd start with how many years it has been since she turned 18, and if the number is much higher than the number of years, it begins to get problematic. When these numbers were accumulated also matters. If she had a bunch of lovers in college but very few since, that's a good sign (unless she's had few since because she doesn't like sex). That reminds us that a "too low" body can also be concerning. If she's 35 and has only been with one man, that's likely trouble, unless it was the guy she married at 19 and was with until a year ago. If a woman was sleeping around a lot in high school because she was a party girl, and she left all that behind and has been very different for the last ten years, that needs to be taken into account.

The bottom line is that numbers matter, but timing and circumstances also matter.

Back when I was with my first MILF, if I didn't know she had a high body count before we got together, I sure knew somewhere along the way, and it didn't turn me off at all. She was someone who liked sex and I was having a great time. Sex is a learned skill, after all. She had taken a break of many years, basically to parent.

What should you do if you're a woman who has a high body count, but you want a good man as a husband and/or father to your children? All hope isn't lost. You might still find a man who is willing to sacrifice himself and is willing to be with a woman with a high body count. When the topic comes up, you should tell him that you're experienced, that all of that is in the past, you're not going to discuss the details, you will respect the same when it comes to him, and that if he can't handle that, it is best to break it off. Don't make him regret it if he chooses to continue. Be mindful of your behavior now. DO NOT LIE. If he's stupid enough to ask if he's the biggest or the best, assure him that he rocks your world.

What a man who is foolish enough to look for a wife/life partner/mother for his children really wants to know is that 1) you'll continue to be an enthusiastic lover; 2) you'll be happy with him; 3) you'll be loyal; 4) you're free of serious communicable diseases. Most men are foolish if they think that about most of the women they consider, but if you two are going to have any chance of beating the odds, he needs to at least believe those things about you.