What Makes You Think You'll Succeed At What Better Men Failed?

If you are heading for, or even just "open to" marriage, consider that many admirable, smart men have been divorced. Some multiple times. Men you personally know. Men you know about.

Why have they been divorced?

Here are the options:

1) They picked wrong.
2) They didn't treat their wife right.
3) During the marriage, their wife suffered from a trauma or illness that caused her to become the wrong wife.
4) The present system itself is deeply problematic.
5) More than one of the above.

If these good men picked wrong, what makes you think you will pick better or are picking better?

If these good men didn't treat their wife right, what makes you think you will be better at how you do marriage?

There are traumas/illnesses that are unavoidable. So, even if you pick right and treat right, you can still end up being miserably married or divorced.

If the present system is deeply problematic, that's the system into which you'd be marrying. What is that system? 1) Family law and courts transfer money and power away from you, to a woman, and reward bad behavior and women for divorce. 2) Socialization doesn't prepare women to be good wives and discourages them from being good wives. 3) Misandrist culture emasculates men and punishes them for being husbands and fathers.

Again, what makes you think you're going to beat the system? What makes you think you're going to succeed at what so many better men failed?

There's a lot about Dennis Prager I admire, and he seems to have a great grasp on human behavior and human nature and most of the dynamics between men and women, and his first marriage was, statistically, started when it had a good chance of lasting (he was in his late twenties or into his thirties, not some immature 19 year-old). And yet, that marriage didn't last and his second marriage didn't last either. He'd tell you to do what he did, and get married a third time, because it is inconceivable to him that men should learn to thrive on their own, because he formed, very early in his life, an emotional fixation on men being husbands.

Today, in the twenty-first century, men can thrive being free. There is no good reason for most men to sign a terrible state marriage contract. The contract is of no benefit to most men, and you can live a great, happy, fulfilled life without it. So why take on the risks and obligations of something at which so many better men have failed?

This isn't like technological development, in which knowledge accumulates. Human nature, if it is evolving, doesn't evolve fast enough to mean that what men want has changed in the last few thousand years. So, this isn't like "I can build a better rocket." The social aspects of marriage involve dealing with a woman. Female nature, like male nature, hasn't changed much, but the socialization of women has, and not in a way that supports lasting, happy marriages. When that is paired with the fact that our current legal system and current culture will empower a wife to ruin your life, it is arrogance or delusion to see that some great men haven't had lasting, happy marriages - in fact most men who have married have failed marriages - but think you are going to succeed at it.

Why take that risk, when you can get everything you need and want in life without doing so?

Stay free, guys.

As always, you are welcome to comment below. It would be especially interesting to hear about good men you know who have had a failed marriage, or how you thought you could do better and you found out otherwise.