Thursday, July 04, 2024

One Example of a Free Man

Why birds fly, and we can't - SiOWfa12: Science in Our World
It didn't occur to me until the other day that a friend I've had for decades is an excellent example of a Free Man.

I need to keep things vague to protect his privacy. If I described his work, you would almost certainly be familiar with at least some of it. He's helped create billions of dollars in value in his career.

I keep seeing assertions that men who adopt the marriage strike will end up lonely, sad, pathetic, etc. But my friend, let's call him Henry, is in his 70s now and he seems very happy. He's certainly admired.

He's never been married. As far as I know, he's never had a woman (or man) living with him since college and hasn't had an exclusive girlfriend since early adulthood. He has no children (or, if he does, they were adopted out and remain a secret). This isn't for a lack of potential suitors. There is no shortage of women (or men!) who'd marry him if they could.

Henry's main home (he owns at least one other), in which he lives alone other than a pet, is worth seven figures, maybe into the eight figures. The contents of the home are easily into the six figures, if not more. It's a home he had built to his specific desires and it is a very warm, friendly place. In fact, if he spends any time alone, it is entirely at his own choice because he has many friends, and countless admirers, who very much enjoy spending time with him even if they don't yet know about his homes.

Most evenings, Henry's out and about going to the places he enjoys, almost always with friends and often a sibling, usually eating nice meals. He's traveled a lot, but when he's in his primary residence, on a pretty much weekly basis he'll meet friends, from a pool of dozens, for a nice dinner out and stimulating conversations in his home, almost always with viewings of media in his excellent home theater. These evenings will always stretch into the not-so-wee hours of the morning. (Because I married and had children, I can only join in for these once or twice a year these days - each time is a cherished memory.)

He's retired but can work if and when he wants.

He can be the world's best uncle/great uncle whenever he wants.

Henry doesn't have to clear any of this - going out with friends, traveling, working, having people over, his audio or video equipment, how his house is arranged, what he has in his house - with anyone. He doesn't have a spouse causing trouble between him and his friends. He doesn't have to endure pointless arguing, nagging, or anything like that. He doesn't have to beg a spouse to let him enjoy his hobbies.

It is highly doubtful Henry could have built and enjoyed this life, including spending months at a time working out of state and out of the country, if he'd married.

Henry will never risk getting kicked out of his own home due to an argument.

I have never ever gotten a sense of loneliness or sadness from Henry regarding this living situation or from NOT being in a marriage or exclusive relationship. He seems very happy, fulfilled, and having a great life. He's certainly not a loser or to be pitied. He's in great shape for his age and stays active.

To be fair, Henry is highly talented. Most men aren't going to be as talented. Yet, one doesn't need to be as talented to live an enjoyable, full life as a Free Man.

He's outgoing and good with people. But one need not have the same personality as Henry to make some good friends.

I could have, and likely should have, patterned my life after his.

Who will take care of Henry, if he winds up in a state of convalescence? He has built enough wealth to pay for the best professional care, because he wasn't spending it on handbags and paying a woman's way through life, lawyers, alimony, etc. But Henry also has nephews/nieces and their children he's treated very well, as well as many good, younger friends who will never allow him to be abused, neglected, or lonely.

So, do not buy the assertions that a man who doesn't marry will have a sad, lonely, empty life. Men can thrive as Free Men and have great lives.

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