Another Lament That People Like Erotica

When you watch sexy videos, it makes Mark H. Butler and Misha D. Crawford sad.

Pornography is a cultural icon of the sexual revolution, and many in society have been wisely wary of both. But not so much anymore, as a recent nationally representative survey shows that overall acceptance of pornography has jumped in the last few years to reach over 70 percent.

That's just people willing to tell strangers. Significantly more watch.

The ubiquity of internet porn, with its triple-A engine of accessibility, anonymity, and affordability, both highlights and heightens this acceptance, while simultaneously increasing and intensifying debate about whether pornography represents a real public health risk—to relationships and a stable society.

It's not a public health risk.

Mind you, these are the same sort of people who used to claim that adult stores were ruining neighborhoods. You'd think they'd be thrilled about online porn... well, you would if you thought there concern really was about seedy storefronts.

Contradictory research findings and conflicting clinical views provide a blurry report of whether pornography use is helpful or harmful.

Translation: Antiporn crusaders have their bogus research claims shot down by more reliable research and common sense.

Is pornography the liberating sexual aphrodisiac its purveyors, defenders, and even some couple therapists have supposed—just the thing to resuscitate a couple’s sexual satisfaction and revive the “wow” factor?

In some cases. But if people stay free, that won't be an issue.

Or, rather, is pornography a couple cancer, as some research indicates?

Porn panic hurts exponentially more relationships than porn.

This synthesis by sexuality expert and researcher Dr. Nathan Leonhardt suggests that sexual outcomes of pornography use may consist of short-term erotic satisfaction, while long-term sexual quality, anchored to relationship factors, suffers.

What really happens is that people who are having relationship troubles tend to cope in various ways. One way might be watching more porn. The porn didn't cause the problems (outside of porn panic). Also, compulsive people can especially have relationship trouble in the long term, and compulsive people might watch media compulsively, including porn. People who are so religious they won't admit to watching porn are also so religious they will stay married and they will refuse to say their marriage is less than wonderful.

Leonhardt et al. suggest that these scripts are antithetical to the intimate emotional and relational factors needed to sustain long-term sexual quality and relationships themselves.

Oh, these people would TOTALLY be OK with porn that showed couples having good, long marriages and using good tactics to work through problems. Yeah. Then it would be OK. Right. Sure.

Guess what? Romcoms and princess fantasies don't teach people realistic, positive relational factors.

My (Mark) own perspective of 25 years of clinical observations coincides with porn content analysis in an indictment of pornography for its pervasive scripting of self-gratification-obsessed eroticism, objectification, and promiscuity.

This guy gets paid to watch porn? Is that what he's telling us?

This essay is basically complaining about the plots of porn.

If heightened arousal and erotic experience are what a person seeks, pornography does a good job of supporting that—although, in a drug-like way, over time its users become desensitized and experience diminishing returns.

I've never seen anyone explain why this is a problem with porn but not marital sex. If it happens, it happens with both. Why bash porn over it but not marital sex? And yes, they link to FTND. Puhleeze.

Conversely, if secure, satisfying, quality long-term relationships are what individuals and couples want, pornography’s messaging does a poor job of promoting that aim or showing the way.

What media does it well?

Much of the essay tries to make a dichotomy between short term sexual pleasure and "relationships." Their goal is to try to get you to pick relationships and eschew porn. But what if we looked at it as discouraging exclusive relationships, since they seem to work against sexual pleasure?

Who are these people anyway?

Mark Butler, Ph.D. Marriage & Family Therapy, is a Professor in the School of Family Life, Brigham Young University. Misha Crawford, M.S. Marriage, Family, and Human Development, Brigham Young University, is a Family Life Educator.

Ah. Of course.