Every once in a while, the mask slips.
Yesterday (January 4, 2022), this, screencapped below in case it disappears, was posted on the Dr. Laura Program official Facebook page. [This entry has been bumped up.]
Many women commented on it, about how men need to jump through more hoops in order to get sex from their woman.
Typical right? We hear and read that all of the time.
About 24 hours later, this was posted on the very same Facebook page, again, screencapped below in case it goes away.
How can this be reconciled with the first post? Simple! Tell the boyfriends to stop doing so much for her. Right??? I mean, then her sexual desire will be reduced. Right???
The men had fun with this one, commenting on this second posting:
Dr. Laura does monitor and comment on her program's official Facebook page (unlike Twitter, which she doesn't personally check), so it will be interesting to see if she responds to this, deletes something (including some comments from men), or what.
There is a larger point here than two apparently contradictory posts on the same page in about a 24-hour span.
It is that many (most?) women DO NOT need ANYTHING in order to be sexual. The proof is in how women behave, often from first dates (or hookups without even going on a date), all the way until their wedding or the birth of a child. The proof is in affairs. The woman in the second post doesn't need her boyfriend to jump through hoops. She wants sex with them.
A BIG tell is single mothers. If she was able to have sex with him plenty when they were dating, even though she had LESS help around the house, and then he marries her and thus is doing more than before they were married, and the sex dwindles, that shows "he needs to do more" is dung. (Don't date or marry single mothers, though, guys.)
The only way "Hey, husband, you need to jump through more hoops" is true is if he needs to do more because she is now less attracted to him because of age and/or marriage, and if that is common, then it is all the more reason for men to STAY FREE and date women who are more attracted, or go into monk mode.
None of this is to say men who've been ignorant, delusional, desperate, or masochistic enough to marry shouldn't contribute around the home or shouldn't romance their wife. Rather, this is to again demonstrate an inconsistency between what woman (and marriage sellers) say, and how women actually behave.
See something I wrote before about this topic.
Yesterday (January 4, 2022), this, screencapped below in case it disappears, was posted on the Dr. Laura Program official Facebook page. [This entry has been bumped up.]
Many women commented on it, about how men need to jump through more hoops in order to get sex from their woman.
Typical right? We hear and read that all of the time.
About 24 hours later, this was posted on the very same Facebook page, again, screencapped below in case it goes away.
How can this be reconciled with the first post? Simple! Tell the boyfriends to stop doing so much for her. Right??? I mean, then her sexual desire will be reduced. Right???
The men had fun with this one, commenting on this second posting:
Dr. Laura does monitor and comment on her program's official Facebook page (unlike Twitter, which she doesn't personally check), so it will be interesting to see if she responds to this, deletes something (including some comments from men), or what.
There is a larger point here than two apparently contradictory posts on the same page in about a 24-hour span.
It is that many (most?) women DO NOT need ANYTHING in order to be sexual. The proof is in how women behave, often from first dates (or hookups without even going on a date), all the way until their wedding or the birth of a child. The proof is in affairs. The woman in the second post doesn't need her boyfriend to jump through hoops. She wants sex with them.
A BIG tell is single mothers. If she was able to have sex with him plenty when they were dating, even though she had LESS help around the house, and then he marries her and thus is doing more than before they were married, and the sex dwindles, that shows "he needs to do more" is dung. (Don't date or marry single mothers, though, guys.)
The only way "Hey, husband, you need to jump through more hoops" is true is if he needs to do more because she is now less attracted to him because of age and/or marriage, and if that is common, then it is all the more reason for men to STAY FREE and date women who are more attracted, or go into monk mode.
None of this is to say men who've been ignorant, delusional, desperate, or masochistic enough to marry shouldn't contribute around the home or shouldn't romance their wife. Rather, this is to again demonstrate an inconsistency between what woman (and marriage sellers) say, and how women actually behave.
See something I wrote before about this topic.
Interesting... Ok, this post was fresh, thanks.
ReplyDeleteThe post reminded me of one guy's Reddit post, "AITA for telling my wife she made me asexual?"
ReplyDeleteWelp, he was 50, wife 45, married for 20 years, together 24, had a daughter (15) and a son (12). He worked a traditional 9-5 M-F with hour commute, wife for the last 16 years worked part-time as real estate agent (24 h/wk give or take), so had more flexibility with kids during the week, but mostly works from home except from closings.
Split household chores pretty evenly, though bit alongside traditional gender roles (him mowing the lawn, her doing the laundry), but time to time cross over depending on schedules. About even on child rearing, mostly her during the week and him during weekends when she had showings, open houses, etc.
Before they had children, had a healthy sex life (3-4 times/week), after the daughter's birth, it went down, while he expected this, but even after 3-6 months it never rebounded, came down to once a week. Mostly, she was "tired", so he didn't press the issue, tried to get her "in the mood" more often, but nothing worked.
After son's birth, once a week went down to twice a month, then once a month. Again, when he tried to initiate, they would be rebuffed, wife went to bed at 8pm, and by the time he got into bed after kids' bedtime routines, she was fast asleep.
Tried to have a conversation with the wife about it, but still only got the "tired" or "overwhelmed" response. Didn't quite understand, but offered to look into getting some help around the house (hiring a cleaner or housekeeper a few times a week), but she refused.
Then he pretty much just accepted his semi-celibacy. (Watching porn or jerking off never did it for him), but stopped initiating (no point trying to get his hopes up) and left it up to her.
Once a month became once every two months, then once a quarter. But as the kids got older and became more self-sufficient, he instead started doing more work with community groups and church, and found fulfillment channeling his energy in there.
So it had been going on for like 10 years, down to once every 3-6 months, slowly once in 6 months. And the wife always initiated, he had given up on it, essentially became like a car on cruise control going down the highway. About a year and half ago, when wife initiated, he found it hard to get an erection, and maintaining it was difficult. Since he was approaching 50, thought it may have been physical ED, low testosterone or sth, so went to see the doctor. Turned out, nothing physically wrong, tests were all well into normal range, no borderlines, so instead suggested he see a therapist, but he saw no point in this - what's the point of trying to fix it for a chance twice a year?
And since then, he had practically no interest in any sexual activity. Even if he was to look at another woman and found her attractive, would just think "yeah, she's pretty" the same way he'd admire a nature photograph or a piece of art and just move along.
Then, recently wife tried to initiate sex for the first time this year, but he told her he was just not interested in sex anymore. Not repulsed, but just no interest or any reaction at all. And she thought his reaction was "not normal", and asked if he was having an affair. So eventually he told her that the increasing lack of intimacy in the past 10 years pretty much made him asexual, and he now has other interests (his children, community/church outreach, etc).
Though he said that he still loved her and did not intend on divorcing her. Also that he didn't believe she was cheating on him, just that her light switch is broken in the "off" position. If she was to get ill, he's be there for her throughout. But if, god forbid, she was to die or divorce him, he would definitely never date again and just stay single for the rest of his life.