I'm a 22-year-old male who has never been in a serious relationship.Good. You shouldn't be in one until you are 25, or have achieved your dream and are established and looking for marriage.
About six months ago, I went away to grad school and met a girl. We have become good friends. We talk a lot and I flirt, but I'm not sure if she's flirting back.
She laughs at my stupid jokes and touches me when we joke around, but I think she may regard me as just a friend. I enjoy having her as a friend, but I can't stop thinking about how I'd like to be more than just friends.
It could be too late. She probably thinks of you as her gay friend.
Should I take the chance and tell her how I feel and risk our friendship -- or let things remain the way they are?This is why you should be dating at least a few women. If this woman is interested in you "romantically", it would become very obvious when she realizes you are going out on a date with another woman. She may even try to compete for your attention.
Be prepared to be dropped the minute she finds a guy who actually makes a move. Such is the case with a lot of male-female "friendships". Either you are just being somewhat of a platonic surrogate, or her new guy will not want you around, because he knows you would make a move if you ever worked up the guts.
Dear Abby responded:
A clue that she might be mutually attracted to you is the fact that she touches you.
Women do that with their gay friends.
Chances are, if she did consider him a possibility early on, she's long since moved on mentally. Unless she likes being reminded that she's not attractive enough to this guy for him to make a move.
Look, I used to be the guy who silently pined away for the girl. I'm sure there were a lot of junior high school kids in the same boat. I should have grown out of it by high school, but I didn't. It’s no way to live.
Man up. Learn to accept rejection. If you are most like most single guys, you consider any woman who doesn't repulse you to be a potential date. So ask different women. Some will say yes. What’s your goal? Are you a marriage-and-family-minded guy? If so, then your dates now will help you pick your wife – later... when you are done with graduate school and professionally established. If you're just looking for "a good time", then you can find that easily. But don't become friends with them first, because that'll just give them the wrong idea.
Thanks again for showing your world class hyprocrisy. You go hump with an older woman at 19 which probably helped you pick up women later and then tell a guy crap like this for advice.
ReplyDeleteI would have loved to have a girlfriend once in college to play with long term and always deeply regret having the difficulties I did. He may be smarter than most and the women are mostly stupid even the one's 2 or 3 years older that really think they are 'mature' (whatever the hell that means). So, he may be having difficulty meeting other fairly good quality women that are on his intellect level.
Once again, you are projecting this sorry Christian garbage regarding human sexuality.
If he is the kind of guy that is taking his studies seriously, shows up on time to his crappy job while in college, and drives around in a junk car, he should be in a intimate relationship by this time. I'm not advocating irresponsble sex, but a bit of a social life would probably be good for him. And please don't tell me that 'church' is a social life.
I will always forever regret not having someone sooner in my life that was worth a damn for something. If I make it that far, I won't be sitting in the rest home drooling glad that I was not getty any at that time.
>>Thanks again for showing your world class hyprocrisy.<<
ReplyDeleteI think you are misusing that word. Look it up in a dictionary and explain exactly how I am being a hypocrite.
>>Once again, you are projecting this sorry Christian garbage regarding human sexuality.<<
What is wrong with the idea that sex is for marriage? It is a sure way to stem the spread of STDs, reduce out-of-wedlock births, and a host of social and psychological problems.
>>If he is the kind of guy that is taking his studies seriously, shows up on time to his crappy job while in college, and drives around in a junk car, he should be in a intimate relationship by this time.<<
With the scene these days, any serious relationship is likely to be a distraction. He should be focusing on building his own life now, not be concerned about how any of his decisions will fly with his girlfriend.
>>I'm not advocating irresponsble sex, but a bit of a social life would probably be good for him.<<
He SHOULD date. He just shouldn't tie himself to one woman right now and get so serious with her.