So She Has Moved On - Now What?

Guys, has she just dumped you, officially or not?

This is the time of year when a lot of men find themselves dumped, left, served with divorce papers, or that "the woman in their life" has checked out from the relationship or is with other men (online or in the flesh). You were with her for Thanksgiving, maybe with her at your family's place or you being her guy-to-show-off at her family or friend's place. You got her Christmas presents. You were there for her on New Year's Eve, maybe even spending a lot of money. And you made a big deal about Valentine's Day.

But she was planning to leave after she got what she wanted. Or you didn't jump through the hoops right (in many cases, nobody can).

And now you're finding out why I told you to become scarce in November, and you should have listened to me.

So now what?



If you didn't marry her, count your blessings. It's even better if you didn't live together.

If you were married to her, or if she's living in your place, or if you own anything of significance together or have signed a contract (like a loan or mortgage) with her or have joint financial accounts with her, you need to talk with an attorney ASAP. You especially need to if you have a child with her.

If you have no such entanglements with her, good for you!

Whatever you do, don't get into another serious relationship in which you imply or outright promise exclusivity. You need independence and perspective.

If you have no place to live and can't afford your own apartment or to rent a room, temporarily crash with family or a buddy. You need to get away from her even if she's offered to let you stay with her for now or wants to keep sharing a rental.

Watch out for her trying to come back. She might be setting you up for paternity or false allegations. Speaking of that, if you haven't gotten a vasectomy already, seriously consider getting one. Then, have it tested by a lab at least twice.

Here's some great news, if you're feeling lonely or craving a woman:

For most of our adult lives, a man's relationship value increases while a woman's decreases.

What this means is that you can get hotter women than her, because you're older now than when you two got together.

Thanks to how women are and today's culture, you don't have to marry them. You don't have to live with them. You can keep your autonomy and still enjoy their company. And thanks to technology and business, you can live a good life without interacting with women at all in your personal life, so if you don't want to, you don't have to.

But for now, you need to make sure you're well-grounded. You need to recover from the end of whatever it is you had with this last woman.

Being with her might have thwarted your dreams, messed with your finances, hindered your career, hobbled your hobbies, diminished your friendships, and strained your family connections. Focus on improving those things. That will fill plenty of time to the point you probably won't be able to feel lonely. What's your plan? Have you achieved your dream? Are you living in the house in which you want to die? Have you gone to places in the world you want to visit? What's lacking in your life?

Take advantage of being a free man.

Never let a woman get her hooks into you again (ESPECIALLY not one who has minor children). If you really want to date them, you can still do so. But don't limit yourself to one. Don't live with any woman. They shouldn't even know exactly where you really live. And don't even think about knocking a woman up or marrying her.

And keep this in mind for November.