Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Married Men Get More Sex - Part Three

I wanted to address morality before I go further with this series (Part 1, Part 2). I am not neutral. Although for the sake of discussion I am comparing married sex to unmarried sex as though there is no difference, I do believe there is a difference. I believe that spouses having sex with each other is generally a positive thing, and people who are not married to each other having sex is generally a destructive thing.

So even if it was proven that marriage means less sex than being unmarried, that reason alone is not enough for me to discourage marriage. [*] The more sex a person has outside of marriage, the more damage they are doing to themselves and others. A loose analogy is that someone who engages in counterfeiting money may have a lot more money than someone is doing an honest job. But the counterfeiter isn't supposed to have that money. It doesn't matter if the clerk knows the money is counterfeit and still accepts it – it is still wrong.

I realize that people who do not have a moral problem with certain sex outside of marriage, or any sex outside of marriage, will not accept such an analogy, but I offer it to give some insight into the thinking of those who do - who are often the very people touting that marriage means more sex.

Aside from religious prohibitions or related morality, some would argue that even if someone does get more sex while unmarried, that such sex is destructive and separates sex from a core purpose or one of its greatest benefits, namely bonding husband and wife, and is otherwise counterproductive as it may delay marriage, cause someone to bond with the wrong person, and take on behaviors incompatible with their future marriage partner. Women especially are different from each other, so when a man becomes accustomed to the give and take and nuances he has with one woman, this will likely interfere with a subsequent wife. An analogy here would be that it is like a man collecting rocks as he goes on a hike, the load getting heavier and heavier, and then when he gets to his destination, he finds he has to build a foundation using different rocks than the ones he collected on the way. In fact, he has to keep moving the rocks he brought out of the way as he builds, and they remain nearby, in the grass, catching his eye now and then as he tries to enjoy sitting on the porch with his wife.

Again, the reason why I am discussing this topic – the frequency of sex within marriage vs. outside of marriage – is because I have often heard and read that studies show married men have more sex than unmarried men. Which brings me to...

[*] Since marriage is more than sex, evidence that getting married means more sex may not be enough reason to get married. In other words, either way, there is much to consider in deciding to marry or not marry other than sex.

[Read Part 4, about other considerations besides frequency of sex.]

No comments:

Post a Comment

I have to approve your comment before it appears. I won't reject your comment for disagreement - I actually welcome disagreement. But I will not allow libelous comments (which is my main reason for requiring approval) and please try to avoid profanities. Thanks!