I Don't Want to Go On Vacation

We're going on vacation later this year. We're going to attend a wedding in another part of the country, so that got the ball rolling. Then my wife decided she wants to get together with some old friends and pen pals. But it couldn't be the same day as the wedding, which is on a Saturday, so she chose the following Saturday for the get-together. I just found that part out. I had been hoping for a trip that was going to be an extended weekend. Instead, it is going to be over a week.

Vacations are great when you work have the kind of job in which work doesn't accumulate. For example, if you’re a waiter, someone else is going to do the work while you’re gone. That's not how I make my money. For me, vacations mean either losing money or doing the same amount of work – just doing it before and after my vacation, in addition to all of the other work I would normally do. This stress can be countered by having a relaxing vacation.

I don't expect this vacation will be relaxing.

We've traveled a couple of times with one kid. One of the trips we consider a bad memory. Now we have two young kids.

Flying in general has gotten to be more of a hassle and more expensive ever since 9/11. Flying with young children is even more of a hassle. If I was flying some place for a week, I used to be able to pack all I needed into whatever I was carrying on with me. No chance of it getting lost. No waiting for it to be unloaded. That went out the window with getting married – add a couple of kids, and forget it!

I'm one of those people who do not want to be a burden or annoyance on others. So I really don't want to subject other passengers to my kids if they start screaming or getting restless, and I know kids can be bothered by airliner pressurization.

I wish we had the time to take a train. My family took a couple of long train trips when I was a kid, and I liked being able to walk on the train to stretch my legs and see the scenery. Having a private cabin avoids being an annoyance others.

Flying itself doesn't scare me, though someone near and dear to me was killed in an airplane crash. I get more concerned when we land and I realize I'm going to get into a rental car and drive unfamiliar roads, which is far more dangerous. We're doing that, too. Even "better" – the airport into which we'll be flying will mean having to drive for a couple hours to get to our destination. Gotta strap in those car seats – hopefully the airline won't lose them or delay them (that happened to us before).

Someone has to keep an eye on the house while we're gone, and we have to make arrangements for the dog. That's likely going to be another expense, and less than ideal for the dog.

So, will the kids really behave during the wedding? I have my doubts. Kids get bored silly at such things. It is not in their nature to sit there quietly for long periods of time while people they really don't know go through a formal ceremony. I'll remove them if they can't handle it. Maybe we should add to such ceremonies magic tricks, fire-breathing, and puppets that look like fruit singing annoying songs about sharing?

And then there's sex. I don't see how that's going to happen on this trip. I probably won't even be able to let off steam.

If I recall correctly, it was on the last flight I took with my wife before we had kids that we discovered how much she liked it when I let my fingers do the walking up her skirt right there in our seats. Some dude was sleeping on my other side (or doing a good job of faking it) and we had a blanket to conceal what was going on. From what I understand, this is not uncommon. My wife was turned on something fierce. She's one of those "good girls" who gets a thrill from being "bad" in ways like that. Ain't going to be able to do that this time.

I really don't want to go. Sending her alone or with one or both kids isn't an option. Beyond reading up on some tips to minimize the things I won't like about this trip, I'll need to just stop thinking about it so that I don't stew over something I can't change.

Any advice or tips on preparing for this trip?

Sometimes I read back through entries like this think I'm too uptight and enjoy being alone too much, and as a result I'm robbing my wife and kids. Presenting a happy, pleasant front is good. It is even better if it is genuine.