Friday, March 12, 2010

Married Men Get More Sex - Part Five

Let's grant for the sake of this writing that, in general, married people have more sex than unmarried people. Even if that is so, there are people who are unmarried who have more sex than the average married person, even a married person of similar age, economic status, and health. I detailed my own experience, showing that I had more frequently, on average, in my unmarried years than during my married years (which are still ongoing).

In today's social climate, there are things an unmarried man can do to have a sex life that includes more frequent sessions than the comparable married man.

I would like to see a study that tracks sexually active heterosexual males in various age categories:
21-25
36-30
31-35
36-40,
etc.
...in major metropolitan areas. Compare faithful married-with-children guys to unmarried childless guys who strictly adhere to these behaviors:

1) Does not keep "a" girlfriend, but rather seeks to have four or five nights a week of "dates", including scheduling more than one date a night (and perhaps canceling some), but never seeing the same woman more than once, maybe twice a week.
a) By "seeking" dates, I mean that online or in person, goes to where the easy women are to find new prospects.
b) By "dating" I mean meeting up after dark, preferably where she lives, otherwise an inexpensive establishment that serves hard alcohol, and moving the situation towards sex as quickly as possible - the location and activities of the date are chosen by him.
2) Does not spend more than $40 on a date.
3) Does not approach women in groups. Preferably, he acts like he is waiting for someone else until a woman approaches him, or does some other ruse (perhaps with an accomplice) that prompts a woman to approach him. This would include that he not buy drinks for a woman who asks him to, let alone for her friends. Ideally, only buys drinks (hard, not beer) for a woman who came to the establishment with him and will be leaving with him.
4) Only dates women ages 21 and up who drink, are childless, aren't virgins, aren't coworkers of his, aren't married, and do not exhibit signs of PTSD.
5) Stops seeing any woman who doesn't put out on the third date or ealier;
leaves the first, second, or third date immediately if she takes a call, texts, or has a friend show up; stops seeing any woman who behaves violently.
6) Uses caller ID and/or answering machine/voice mail to avoid taking calls from women on the weekend, or more than one call per date, unless he knows for certain she will be inviting him over for sex.
7) Calls her only to initiate the next sexual encounter.
8) Always wears his own condom/or has had a vasectomy.
9) Does not stay, to sleep, spoon, or cuddle after sex or after she has said "no", "don’t", or "stop" to stop the sex.
10) Never reveals how much money he really makes, but may do things that give her the impression that he makes a lot.
11) Will only see women during the workweek, unless she is a sure thing.
12) Keeps each "relationship" to as close to booty call status as possible – does not move in or allow her to move in or leave anything at his place; if she gets to be too much work or makes demands she is gone; no gifts, birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries; no meeting family or friends; does nothing to give her the impression he is only seeing her; avoids offering compliments other than backhanded compliments.

Most of these are adapted from Tom Leykis, designed to maximize the amount of sex a guy is getting from easy women and minimize the amount of time and money he spends in doing so, and to avoid indicating that he is looking for a relationship and marriage. These things "work" because there are plenty of women out there who will readily have sex with jerks they hardly know. Some just want male attention - any kind of attention, some have more libido than they have reservations about casual sex, and some are just too busy with career for a relationship. Whatever the reason, they respond to these tactics, and a guy who uses them can easily get more sex than most married men.

Although I suppose you can say I "audited" Leykis' "course", I was never a student as I didn't frequent bars, and didn't do anything to give any woman the impression that I had more money, power, or potential than I actually had, and I wouldn't avoid meeting with friends of women I was dating in my post-girlfriend years. Also, I would typically (but not always) spend the night and sometimes spent more than $40 on dates, and I don't think I ever bought a single drink for a woman who was meeting me for a date. But I do know from experience that some women will try all the harder to have sex with you if you are emotionally distant and refuse to entertain their dreams of a relationship. I do know that a guy doesn't have to be a faux-sensitive doormat who acts like a woman's trained puppy to have unmarried sex. Plenty of attractive women will have sex with unreliable, unhelpful, plain-looking guys without any sign or sort of commitment. The irony is that some of these women will hold out if they think there's a chance a guy will marry them and would be a good husband.

Anyway, I'd like to see the sexual frequency rates under such conditions. Heck, take away points for contracting STDs. Major loss of points if he is killed while at her place. I bet most of the unmarried game-players would get more sex than most of the married guys. Someone can do a masters thesis on this, maybe even get a doctorate.

Coming next: How to lower the chances of getting a divorce. (Read Part 6)
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4)

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