Too Few Friends?

 

Supposedly, people today have fewer actual friends; too few.

Friends can be good for many reasons. They can keep you in check, give you feedback, back you up, keep tabs on you, give you perspective, open your mind, enable experiences, connect you to job opportunities, and so much more. Some people will say a spouse can do those things, too. I switch that around. A friend can do many things a spouse might do, so you don’t need a spouse, and unlike a legal spouse, you can get rid them without paying if they become harmful.

If you need (more) friends, there are many ways to find some. But first, who is friend material to you?

A friend should be someone you’re not ashamed or embarrassed to be associated with or seen with. They mean well for you and you for them. Your relationship isn’t based on one of you trying to get something from the other, other than companionship, emotional support, and good times. They are someone you can trust to a reasonable extent. They aren’t a bad person as people go. They are someone you might want to share a meal with, exchange gifts with, share experiences with, confide in, do favors for. While charity can be something one provides for a friend, a chronic charity case is just that, not a friend. Friends aren’t projects.

If they’re someone who aggressively assaults or abuses, steals, causes trouble for less than noble reasons, is a drain on your energy or finances, is a junkie or drunk, or is friendly with you because they’re trying to convert you to their cult or MLM scheme, that’s not friend material.

They don’t need to be the same race, ethnicity, religion, or political affiliation as you.

Think about what you’re hoping to find in a friend. Is it someone you can play games with? Watch sports with? Hunt with? Listen to music with? Try new restaurants with? Look for women with? Ride motorcycles with? Restore classic cars with?

This is assuming you truly want new friends. Maybe you’re already happy with how things are and you don’t have time for new friends. But if you do have time or can make it, and you think it would be good, then you can make it happen.

Think about that, and in another post I’ll write about where to find friends.