My wife generally puts off sex until the same time once per week, provided she's not on the rag or being especially hostile to me or ill in some way, as she frequently is.
Usually, this is a day I won't be working. This means she will sleep most of the day and I will be with the kids most of the day.
The kids can't be together for more than a couple of hours without hurting each other to the point of tears. Usually it involves head injuries. This probably irritates me more then it would otherwise because my wife keeps giving herself concussions and I'm resigned to the idea that she's going to be fully demented to the point of not being able to take care of the kids or drive herself.
The kids fighting is enough to mean I'm going to have to go another week without sex.
Then there's my reaction. After I've warned them to cut it out and leave each other alone (and pointed out one or both of them is going to get hurt) and they still keep it up and then one of them get hurt and is crying in pain, I often yell at them. And yelling, you see, it worse than kids giving each other concussions. It gives my wife the perfect excuse to reject me another week, and nag me about my reaction and demand I change some unrelated things about me.
Then there's my reaction. After I've warned them to cut it out and leave each other alone (and pointed out one or both of them is going to get hurt) and they still keep it up and then one of them get hurt and is crying in pain, I often yell at them. And yelling, you see, it worse than kids giving each other concussions. It gives my wife the perfect excuse to reject me another week, and nag me about my reaction and demand I change some unrelated things about me.
I'm going to start pushing for sex a day earlier. It probably won't work, because she's deliberately set it up this way, but I have nothing to lose I'm not already losing by wanting sex at all.
By the way, my wife's way of handling things with the kids, if she does at all, is to announce some unrealistic punishment that punishes us, especially me, more than the kids.
Mind you, my wife was really happy with me the day before and the day after this latest rejection, and telling me how much she loves me. But sex was not to be had. Because it wasn't the appointed day.
But, you know, I'm minding less and less when my wife sexually rejects me, because it really isn't much better than masturbating at this point, so rejection is getting to be less and less of a punishment. Yes, I enjoy a woman's body (the look, the feel, the smell and taste), yes, I like bringing pleasure to a woman, especially so my wife, but with her, it's a lot of work (no doubt thanks to medications) and the payoff is ...eh. It's like she doesn't care if she orgasms and when she does, it's like she tries to react as little as possible. It's like she doesn't enjoy sex, and does it out of duty. If I try to turn it up a notch or try something different, I feel like a pervert because she doesn't react one way or the other. Getting her to do anything but a corpse impersonation means I have to verbally ask her to do whatever it is I want, knowing that she's only willing to do a very few things and only certain ways, and the signals I get is that she either couldn't care less or dislikes whatever it is that we're doing.
Attention unmarried men: You, too, can sign a contract to give away over half of everything you'll ever earn in exchange for a lifetime of this.
Mind you, my wife was really happy with me the day before and the day after this latest rejection, and telling me how much she loves me. But sex was not to be had. Because it wasn't the appointed day.
But, you know, I'm minding less and less when my wife sexually rejects me, because it really isn't much better than masturbating at this point, so rejection is getting to be less and less of a punishment. Yes, I enjoy a woman's body (the look, the feel, the smell and taste), yes, I like bringing pleasure to a woman, especially so my wife, but with her, it's a lot of work (no doubt thanks to medications) and the payoff is ...eh. It's like she doesn't care if she orgasms and when she does, it's like she tries to react as little as possible. It's like she doesn't enjoy sex, and does it out of duty. If I try to turn it up a notch or try something different, I feel like a pervert because she doesn't react one way or the other. Getting her to do anything but a corpse impersonation means I have to verbally ask her to do whatever it is I want, knowing that she's only willing to do a very few things and only certain ways, and the signals I get is that she either couldn't care less or dislikes whatever it is that we're doing.
Attention unmarried men: You, too, can sign a contract to give away over half of everything you'll ever earn in exchange for a lifetime of this.
Honestly, I don't know why you want sex, at least from her. Sounds like the effort involved doesn't justify any benefit you might get from it. I gave up on sex for precisely that reason, and also because it's the most over-rated activity on the planet.
ReplyDeletePeter, Thanks, as always, for commenting. I like to bring pleasure to the woman in my life. That aspect is still there, if only slightly. From a more selfish side, I like the taste and feel of a woman.
ReplyDeleteBut you're right... it is getting to the point where it just isn't worth the effort and trade-offs. I NEVER felt that way in my wayward youth. Even when it was clear that the relationship wasn't going to "go anywhere" and was likely to end soon, the sex was still good enough to draw both of us back.
So glad I never married. This is the typical story I hear from most all my guy friends. The wife locks up her legs soon after marriage, but of course we guys can't lock up our wallets and fail to pay most of the bills, help out with all the house chores as feminism has insisted men do while women do less and less, and are expected to remain loyal or we're the "insensitive" ones.
ReplyDeleteOne co-worker was giving me a hard time about me being single and not getting regular sex. I told him the truth was, even during dry spells when I get little sex because I haven't picked up a bar hag I'm getting more sex than he does in a given year AND I don't have to regularly pay a wife's exhorbitant bills like he does.