Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Sacrificing Much-Needed Sleep For Lackluster Lovemaking

After two and a half weeks since our last, and decidedly bland sex session, my wife stopped filibustering.

She'd asked me to finish some necessary tasks early enough that we could have time with each other. Usually, this "promise" of hers is hollow, or at least turns out not to come to fruition. And no, I don't always wait for her to initiate. I do try to initiate and usually get shot down or put off (which usually ends up being shot down). On the flip side, I don't think there's been a single time I've put her off when she has initiated, as I don't mind her initiating and actually enjoy it because it makes me feel wanted.

So, I made sure that everything was taken care of "early enough". I shaved (even though it would screw up my shave for work) and showered - and there's never any chance she'll surprise me in the shower. I made sure she knew when I was all done.

It's funny, that I bother to shower for these sessions, really, because she barely gets near me. But I did.

Finally, with about five hours to go until I'd be waking up for another full day of work, she sent me a text that she'd be right in. She's likely finishing watching a show, which she could resume watching whenever she wants, mind you.

She finally made it in half an hour after she sent the text, meaning it was now four and a half hours of sleeping time left, if I were to go to sleep right then.

Now, it's true I could have gone to sleep the moment after I was done with the grooming and cleaning. The problem with that is that she wouldn't have woken me up, and I would have gone an additional four-to-seven days before possibly getting a chance for sex again.

The rest of this entry is a little explicit, so here's your warning.

I wasn't in the best mood, but I hid that. It had been so long that I wanted to go straight to my favorite element of lovemaking, which is cunnilingus, but we started with standard kissing and went from there.

She's the best kisser I've ever experienced, but she kind of phoned it in this time.

She ran her hands over my back and legs a few times, gave my penis a few halfhearted touches, and that was pretty much it on her part. The rest was entirely up to me. And without her encouragement or feedback other than body language that could be read as reluctant, I did what I wanted to do, in an attempt to give her pleasure. Sometimes, that doesn't "go anywhere", so I moved on to something I still can't believe I actually enjoy, which has been called analingus (I don't even like to write it or read about it, but I do it and enjoy it - go figure, but wash out my mouth after). She knows she can tell me not to go there for any given session, and she has before, but she was prepared this time and not calling it off, so I went there.

When our session was over, I thanked her and she silently went to sleep. For all I knew, she was upset with me. I was concerned. Fortunately, the next day, her mood was fine and she didn't complain about the session.

I ache over it seeming like a chore to her, or at best, just a slightly enjoyable experience. Enthusiasm and curiosity and a sense of playfulness and passion sure would be nice.

Oh well.

Attention unmarried men: You, too, can sign over half of everything you'll ever earn and take on all sorts of additional obligations and responsibilities so that you can have a sex life like this. Why aren't you desperate to marry???

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