Who Says Gays Can’t Get Married?

CONFUSED ON WHAT TO DO wrote in to Dear Abby:

I started a relationship with a co-worker.

Guys, unless you don’t care about your job, do NOT socialize with your female coworkers. Sexual harassment laws and policies make it too risky. Keep your communication with female coworkers to the bare professional minimum.

We went out for several months, and I found myself really enjoying his company. The feeling was mutual. After several months I told him I was developing feelings for him, more than just friends. He told me he was gay.

So he's thinking he’s getting a new friend, and she was looking for a husband. She should be very thankful that he was honest with her. I've written about, and heard from, women who've discovered after marrying that their husband's homosexual.

I was shocked, saddened and angry all at the same time, but we went on to develop an even stronger friendship.

So everything is okay, right? Right?

I have fallen in love with him, but I have had counseling and I believe those feelings are in check.

Uh huh. Sure.

We have a special bond that's hard to explain.

If you say so.

For lack of a better term, we have used the words "soul mate" to describe this feeling.

So you're deliberately avoiding sex and marriage? Why is that?

He has even said he would like a lifelong commitment with me and has thought about marrying me.

I would strongly advise against this, because of your attraction to him. If you weren’t attracted to him, and you didn’t want sex, and you were fundamentally compatible with him in other ways, and you got a pre-nup and didn’t make babies, then it could be okay.

Dear Abby responded:

But while you're thinking, consider carefully how important sex is to you. Some, not all, women would be content with what he's offering. But what if you should meet someone? You also need to know whether this man is ready, willing and capable of forgoing a sexual relationship with a man. How would you feel about it if he met someone?

Good points.

What do YOU think?