High School Girl Needs a Lesson in Reality

Ah, the drama of schoolgirl romances. This is one of many examples of where a frank talk with a good father would be very helpful. TEEN IN MERCED, CALIF wrote in to Dear Abby:

I'm 17 and have been dating "Raymond" for two years.

If you've been seeing him exclusively, that's not good. You are too young for that kind of relationship, unless you live in the boonies in one of those towns were everyone goes to the same church, and you have no desire to ever leave. I don't think Merced qualifies.

The thing that concerns me is we aren't supposed to be attracted to other people, but I think he is.

Where in the world did you get the idea that you aren't supposed to be attracted to other people? Of course he is attracted to other people. If you aren't, something might be wrong.

During arguments he has thrown other girls in my face.

You mean he picks them up and throws them in your face? Wow!

Okay, so I think what you mean is that he mentions other girls. If he is about your age, this is an example of how he is too young to be an exclusive boyfriend.

That really hurt, and I can't get over it.

Then dump him. He's not ready.

I think he's attracted to other girls, but he doesn't want me to be attracted to other guys.

We get it – you are both immature. He doesn't want to hear you talking about other guys. He doesn't have to know what you are thinking.

Can you please give me some advice?

Break up.

I'd really like to know what's going on inside his head.

You asked for it...

1. Hot women
2. What hot women look like naked
3. Sex with those women
4. What women he's seen in person look like naked
5. Sex with those women
6. I wish she would shut up.
7. Will my favorite team win it all this year?
8. How can I get around that one sticking point in [insert name of favorite game here]?
9. I hope that they make another sequel to [insert popcorn action movie title here], only good.
10. Damn, those are some cool wheels. I want to get one of those!
11. Is there a meaning to life?

Are his eyes for me only?

No. Get used to it. A more mature and experienced guy who really cares about your feelings will do his best to avoid mentioning that fact that he still enjoys the sight of other women, but at least for the next several years, the guys you date won't be very good at hiding it.

Dear Abby responded:

It's normal for men -- and women, by the way -- of all ages to be attracted to people other than their mate. However, those with good character resist the urge to act on it.

Exactly.

You became involved with Raymond at a very young age, which has prevented both of you from having the normal kinds of dating experiences that are supposed to happen in high school.

For some people, it isn’t normal to date in high school at all.