Happily Ever After

Do you think this married couple and their families pictured things turning out this way when they got married? Jon Cassidy of the Orange County Register (that’s California) brings us the story, which is sure to end up on one of those basic cable shows that detail crimes, investigations, and court trials. Or maybe Lifetime will do a movie about it where the victim is portrayed as the problem – since he is male.

She wanted to leave her alcoholic husband Frank and move to Wyoming for a fresh start with her three children and her live-in lover, Mikey Shores, according to court records.

Money was all the housewife and her out-of-work lover were missing, both told police.

Maybe they'd have more money if he was working instead of committing adultery with her?

For six months, Mary Sharpski, 46, Shores, 38, and Antonio Ortega, 23, worked on a plot – prosecutors allege – that left Frank Sharpski clinging to life in an alleyway, head slashed open, fingers and nose severed. His attacker was dressed like the Grim Reaper, he told police after he pulled out of a coma.

Shores, Ortega, and Mary Sharpski were in court in Westminster [Friday] morning, where they pleaded not guilty to charges of attempted murder, conspiracy and mayhem.

If you read the article, it seems like there is a lot of evidence.

Right away, police noticed that Mary Sharpski was concerned about money. When she was interviewed in the hospital after the attack, she didn't ask once about her husband's condition; she asked if she could have his ATM card, police said.

Yeah, that’s not a good sign. You have to at least fake being upset.

Two weeks after the March 3 attack, as police were closing in, Mary went to Frank's hospital room to get him to sign over power of attorney so she could have access to his money market account. Police talked Frank out of signing.

The next day, March 17, after Frank had surgery to remove his thumb, Mary was back in the hospital, talking about bills and again asking for power of attorney, and he was ready to sign. He wanted to take care of his family, he told police.

Det. Vernon Ahlo had to tell him what police had learned: that the stranger he was letting live in his home rent-free was having an affair with his wife, that his children and neighbors all knew, and that they were planning to move away together. Shores didn't like him, the detective said, and had admitted that he thought that Frank had got what he deserved.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Frank was shocked. He knew that he drank a lot, drank to the point of passing out, and that he'd get upset when he came home to a dirty house, he told police. But he'd never suspected his wife was behind the attack.

Oh, no, of course not. A lot of people wanted to kill you and not rob you (which was another mistake of the idiot attacker... at least pretend like it was a robbery). It does sounds like he had a drinking problem, but which came first - the evil wife or the drinking problem? And the reason the house was dirty was likely because his wife was getting plowed and thus was too busy to pick up. Hey, is he sure that those kids are his?

Shores appreciated her, gave her a shoulder to cry on, went to dinner and the movies with her and the children, she said.

Well, yeah, he DOESN’T HAVE A JOB! He's got time for all of that, because your husband was out working to support your ass! And pay for his booze.

Mary Sharpski did some research, and read somewhere that FedEx - Frank Sharpski was a contracted delivery driver - would pay off on a life insurance policy if he died while at work.

If you own any of FedEx, you have to love this story.

Shortly after 5:30 a.m. on March 3, Frank Sharpski put on his FedEx uniform, walked out his front door, and walked down an alley toward his delivery van. As he reached the door, a man dressed all in black, with a trench coat and a black hood, carrying a machete, walked up and told him, "I'm going to kill you." Sharpski tried to give him his wallet and keys, but the man wasn't interested, and started to attack. He hit Sharpski with overhand blows on the head chest and hands. He cut off his nose. He cut off his fingers when Sharpski tried to defend himself.

Neighbors began to look out their windows.

When the machete slipped out of the attacker's hand, Sharpski tried to run off, but the man chased him down, and knocked him to the ground and sliced at him some more.

But, you know, the guy deserved it because he's a drunk and complained about the place being a mess and he's out working instead of being around.

The thing I have to wonder about Mikey Shores is – why does he think that this woman would be any different to him? Does he think that he has a magic penis, so that she'd never get tired of him and see greener grass in getting rid of him, like she was apparently willing to do to her husband? That she would never cheat on him? People like him really think they are special – not that there is something wrong with the person who is betraying their vows. Hey, if they somehow beat the rap and end up together and free, here's a little advice, buddy: Don’t make her the beneficiary of anything.

And this is another reminder to everyone, especially the person who is away from home more, not to let anyone move in.