Caffeine is My Friend

Wanted to check in with an update on one of my "gripes".

I am consistently getting way too little sleep these days. I'm talking like five hours a night being the norm unless it's a day off. I'll return from work, having been gone for over twelve hours, and my daughter will be itching to get out of the house and burn off some energy. It's too dark already these days to take her to the local park. Instead I drive to what is basically a mall and we walk around for a while in a place that is more interesting and safer than the local park.

Then we return home and have dinner long after I should already be asleep. I'm thankful my wife makes dinner, and she notes that I do not get enough sleep. When she makes that notation, I pretty much bite my tongue. Unfortunately, I can't think of any way of address the situation without depriving my daughter or hurting my wife's feelings/getting her upset at me... which wouldn't result in change anyway. She would probably point out that the situation is temporary. It might be. I fear that it won't be, though. It seems like there has been one temporary thing after another, and they've all had the effect of keeping us from settling into a routine we both think is best. My wife has always been somewhat of a homebody, and if she doesn't feel like she can keep the kids safely under her control while out and about, she's not going to do it. But are her feelings based on reality? I'm not sure.

I feel like crap whenever it is clear that my daughter hasn't burned off enough energy during her day – like when I have had to work an extra long day and I get home too late to take her out. She'll ask me to take here somewhere, and it kills me that it would be even more impractical than usual to grand her wish.

If we had moved close to my family, my daughter would be getting outside and getting her exercise while I would be taking care of work. I enjoy spending time with my daughter, but I can enjoy it at home with her, instead of prepping her for a drive, getting her into the car, and driving there, being in a location where I have to be alert and on guard, and then driving back.

My mother and sister both tell me I need to get more sleep. But my daughter has needs, too. She didn't create this situation. So her needs come first.

Again, my gripes are relatively minor. In general, I love my life.