AOL Piece on Attracting Men

The Biblical Manhood blog has been updated after a vacation, and called my attention to this AOL piece on how women can be more attractive to men. No, it is mostly NOT about physical appearance.

Of "neediness", it says:

Relentlessly saying, "I miss you," throwing (not so) silent temper tantrums when you don't have his full attention and feeling an insatiable desire for his approval are all classic needy behaviors.

Those are not good. Yes, most men love being the hero. But you can let him do that without being needy.

One of the pieces of advice I disagree with is "Trash Your Perfect Man List". Keep the list. Just do not make the boundaries impossibly narrow. Unless there is some odd, specific need, requiring that the man be exactly 6'2" is too narrow. If you are 5'7", anything from 5'9" upward should be okay. If you insist that he is earning six figures or more, then you’d better be under 30, attractive, and not overweight. I recommend that men and women come up with a list of what they need in a spouse, and what they'd like, but don’t need. What they'd like would be an extra bonus. What they need is non-negotiable. For example, I knew that if I was going to marry, I needed to marry a follower of Christ. I would have liked it if she had the same musical tastes as me. If you find someone who meets all of our needs in a spouse, you are being too narrow if you reject them in hopes of finding someone who also meets what you would like. If, however, you have multiple prospects who meet your needs, then of course you persue most strongly the one who meets more of what you'd like.

The writer also advises that you "Drop Your Story":

There are the basic facts (education, politics, spirituality) and there's the various ways in which you label yourself: I'm bad with money. I'm unattractive. I'm too old. When you drop your story and allow yourself to be simply who you are right now, you instantly become more alive, more engaged and more irresistible.

I can see the point being made, as we should put out best foot forward, but do not hide who you are. Rather than hiding that you are bad with money, why not improve your financial behaviors? If you hide anything significant about yourself, you are setting yourself up to have an angry man on your hands who will hold back from putting all of himself into the relationship.

As the BM blog notes, there are comments on the website by women essentially insisting that they should be able to be self-centered nags exhibiting serious personality flaws and still be taken care of by the perfect man. Those women can't possibly have happy husbands, and the ones with unhappy husbands may not care, but the fact is, their lives would be so much better if they started being kind and caring towards the needs of their husbands.