Dr. Laura, Governor Spitzer, and Media Distortions

The blogosphere continues to fill up with angry reactions to what Dr. Laura Schlessinger said on the Today Show, or more often, reactions to misinterpretations of what Dr. Laura said on the Today Show.

These anti-Dr. Laura reactions tend to fall into three categories:

1) How dare she blame Governor Spitzer’s wife for his use of prostitutes!
2) How dare she blame wives for their husbands cheating!
3) I hate Dr. Laura! I don’t really care what she said, I just like bashing her!

I need not deal with #3.

Regarding #1, as Dr. Laura has explained, and as I wrote before, her comments were NOT about Governor Spitzer. Anyone who continues to promote this lie is spreading bogus gossip.

Regarding #2 – this isn’t really true, either. Nowhere does she condone infidelity or excuse anyone for engaging in it. What Dr. Laura said (and has consistently taught) is that if a woman chooses a decent guy to marry, and she keeps him satisfied (emotionally and sexually), which is not complicated, then he will not stray. Now, there are bloggers out there who still are upset with her for that claim. They seem to deny that wives have any power to keep their husband from cheating. Well, that is true - if you married a bum. But not all men are bums. (Some women tend to take the position that all men are bums, but they can change one to being okay through highly limited access to their magic vagina.)

Some of these people seem to want to deny that women should have any responsibility for the condition of their marriage. Strange, really, especially when it comes from people who claim to be feminists and for women having power. They think women don’t have the power to choose a decent guy to marry, or to make a happy marriage – yet most of them want(ed) to get married anyway.

Some of these bloggers dismiss a husband’s need for sex. True, he doesn’t need sex in the same way that he needs food, water, and air, but one of the main reasons a normal, healthy man gets married is for sex. If he’s not getting enough from his wife, he has much less incentive to care all that much about his marriage, or staying faithful to his wife. He is much more responsive to temptation. Many of these same female bloggers had no problem fornicating with their man as often as he expressed any interest… before they got married. But once they have that man’s signature on the contract, they suddenly stop caring as much about keeping him interested or satisfied. They expect that the threat of alimony will be enough to keep him in line. This is one reason why more men are delaying marriage or refusing to marry at all.

Women and men are different. A woman has no idea what it is like to be a man, or how a husband needs sex. Some wives understand that much, and thus make an effort to tend to him, even if she’s not “feeling it”. Women who do this often do end up having fun and enjoying the moment – and with a happier, more attentive husband, and having to deal with more of those pesky orgasms. Other women simply dismiss that they should tend to their husband’s needs. They belittle him when they do this. It’s sad, really. And while it is breaking his vows for him to stray, wives are also breaking their vows (usually) when they fail to love, honor, and cherish, which includes making love when your spouse wants it.