Dr. Laura and Disgraced Governor Spitzer

Have you ever interacted with the news media? Have you ever been an in-person eyewitness to/participant in an event that was later recounted in a newspaper article? If so, you’ve probably noticed that the news media doesn’t always get everything exactly right. Quotes get butchered. Some details get left out. Headlines are misleading.

Dr. Laura appeared on NBC’s the Today Show to promote her new book. They asked her for her opinion on why men cheat. She explained her position that if a woman chooses a good man to marry, and she treats him the way a man needs to be treated, then he’s not going to cheat. The Today Show, their cohorts and MSNBC, and others immediately turned this into “Dr. Laura Blames Governor Spitzer’s Wife For His Use of Whores”. But, THAT IS NOT WHAT SHE SAID. It just makes for good copy.

Immediately, the bloggers jumped on this – you know, the ones that hate Dr. Laura because she thinks women hold some responsibility for their own happiness, parents should actually raise their own children, sex is for marriage, and because she used to say, back in the 1990s, that homosexual acts were against the teachings of the Bible. How dare she!

In addition to going bonkers over her assertion that women should choose their husbands carefully and then treat him kindly, many of the bloggers and commenters brought out the same old, tired attacks about Dr. Laura’s past, things her adult son may or may not have put on MySpace, her relationship with her mother, that she told military spouses/families not to whine to their spouses who are serving in a war zone (misrepresented as “military families should never complain about anything to anyone), and the very, very tired old “Letter to Dr. Laura” regarding homosexuality and the Bible.

It looks like it is fun to knock down straw men, or to not deal with the issue at all but rather dismiss someone’s opinion by saying something nasty about them. Apparently, nobody who has ever made mistakes can ever point out that something is right or wrong or give any helpful advice, even if they've turned their lives around and have undergone a religious conversion and a whole philosophical conversion.

But getting back to the original issue… Nowhere does Dr. Laura excuse men for their decisions to commit adultery. However, she recognizes that if a wife isn't living by her marital vows (which are more than just "forsaking all others"), THEN a man is more likely not to live by his, either.

A lot of the whiners want to believe that women have no power in their relationships, or no ability to a choose a decent man. It is easier to bash Dr. Laura than admit that some wives may not be treating their husbands right, or may have chosen a man who was poor husband material. (A lot of women mistakenly think they can change the man, as if their vagina is magical.)

I do think cheating is wrong and should not be excused. But if the refrigerator is empty, a lot of men are going to hit the drive-thru. I really don't get the prostitute thing, myself - nowadays, it is so easy to find women who will gadly jump right into bed with you, especially if they think that you are rich and powerful, as Spitzer is.

Speaking of power, many of the hate-filled bloggers have complained that Dr. Laura places a lot of responsibility on women. When women call Dr. Laura, she tells them what THEY can do to make things better. She can't very well tell their husbands what they can do if they aren't on the phone with her. When a man calls, she tells him what HE can do. It isn't a matter of bashing either sex, but she does recognize that men and women are different (shocking!). You see, dealing with reality is much more effective than denying it, and then being bitter and angry when things don’t seem to be working out the way you want.

And lets not forget that there were *women* willing to have sex with a married man for money. Do they not have any responsibility for this?

Really, “men = bad, women = good” is getting really old, and so are the rantings of people who are spreading false witness against a radio show host/author. Spitzer did a horrible thing. But there are men who are in marriages where their wives have broken their vows to love, honor, and cherish, or what-have-you, yet all that seems to matter is if the husband has broken his vow to "forsake all others."

Don't want to put in the effort to find a good, husband-material (that involves a lot more than simply how much money he makes) man and treat him the way he needs to be treated? Then don't get married.