Is This How You Want to Live?

From a recent Dear Abby column, COVERING MY EYES IN TENNESSEE wrote:

I'm so disgusted. My wife has started walking around the house with no panties or bra, letting it all hang out, so to speak. Then she makes comments like, "Doesn't this look good?" I'm sickened by her behavior. I feel violated. How do I tell her to stop without hurting her sensitive feelings?

What a strange thing for a man married to a woman to write.

Why is he reacting this way?

Most men would LOVE this!

Is he gay???

Very, very strange.

Hmm.

What's going on here?

Oh, wait, I'm sorry. Here's what the letter actually said:

I'm so disgusted. My husband has started walking around the house with no underwear, letting it all hang out, so to speak. Then he makes comments like, "Doesn't this look good?" I'm sickened by his behavior. I feel violated. How do I tell him to stop without hurting his male pride?

Do you want to live this way, guys? Do you want to pay a woman's way through life when your body isn't attractive to her?

If you pay attention, you see evidence everywhere that most women aren't sexually attracted to the male body, or more than a few male bodies (who most women are unlikely to get to touch because there are so few of them and many of them are gay), at least not anything like the attraction most men have for the bodies of a diverse spectrum of women. Chances are, if you're a husband, even your wife isn't turned on by your nude body. She might even be repulsed. This isn't to say that women don't like male hardbodies. But most of that is about what a fit man can do for her. A fit man can lift heavy things for her, for example. This is why male nudity, if it isn't meant to appeal to gay men, is often for comedic reasons, whereas female nudity in media or a club is about turning men on.

Now, a wife might like a husband's body because it is her husband's, but as we can see even that isn't enough for some women. Plenty of wives DO NOT want to see their husband naked. This includes husbands who are in shape. (Please keep this in mind, guys, when you think about sending unsolicited, or even solicited, crotch shots.)

Again, guys, the sad truth is, very few wives want to see their husband naked. They aren't with you because they saw your body and just couldn't live without it. She is with you because of what you DO for her. For her, it's much like why she has a can opener; a nice looking one is good, but she has it to open cans. You are a means to an end.

Most husbands LOVE seeing their wife naked. If they don't, it's usually a sign of a problem.

Sadly, a lot of men are married to women who don't like them. Their wife resents them. She has contempt and disgust for him. They don't think you are funny. The most skillful ones can do a good job of pretending to like you, what you do and say, your family, your friends, but they usually stop after they think you're locked in.

Dear Abby responded:

I'm sorry you didn't mention how old your husband is and how long you two have been married, but any radical change in an older person's behavior could indicate a serious medical problem. Consider discussing this with your doctor because your exhibitionist spouse may need a medical and neurological exam to see if he has experienced a small stroke or the beginnings of dementia. If he's still a "young-un," give him the affirmation he is asking for and then ask him to cover up.

A man can't even go "natural" in his own home, where apparently it is just him and his wife. Note that Abby didn't indicate that the wife's reaction was at all unusual, or that the husband must be out of shape, or that not all wives feel that way. Because most wives feel the same way. Even if he's in shape.

Pay attention, men. Don't burden a woman by making her your wife.