It's Not Healthy to Sign Terrible Contracts

Delano Squires had a blog entry over at one of my "favorite" blogs. With a title like "Making Boys Into Men" you just know it's going to be ripe.

Editor’s Note: This week, the Family Studies blog is publishing a series of short essays addressing the meaning and purpose of healthy masculinity in today’s world.

By "healthy masculinity" they mean "Men doing what we like." In their case, that's marrying, having children, and being compliant followers to their leadership. Let's get to Squire's contribution.

American boys and men are in a state of crisis. The notion that masculinity and traditional gender roles are “toxic” forces of oppression is a common refrain in our cultural commentary and political discourse.

Yup.

The first lesson is that no man should feel ashamed of being male, because God created him that way.

Good.

I also believe that men function best in environments marked by order, so I will teach my sons that men who want to lead families need to be led by God’s word.

Married men don't lead families. They might be allowed to appear to lead.

They also need to know that women are neither enemies to be engaged with on the battlefields of the culture wars, nor objects to be demeaned through music and media.

If someone wants you to sign a terrible contract with the state, forcibly take over half of your earnings, and have the power to kick you out of your own home and separate you from your children, yes, that someone is an enemy.

They should see their female counterparts for who they are—created beings made in the image of God who are equal in worth but distinct in form and nature.

The person who rapes and murders a child is also a being made in the image of God. Just because someone is made in the image of God doesn't mean they're doing good things and we should do that they want.

Men and women are meant to complement, not compete, with one another. Rejecting these differences is how we came to see chivalry as patronizing and pornography as empowering. Part of my job is to ensure my sons don’t fall prey to that type of thinking. The familiar motto of “provide and protect” feels countercultural in an era of “degrade and neglect.”

You just knew that "seeing sexy pixels is bad" was coming. Gotta kiss up to the woman who has your balls in her purse.

American boys and men also need to know that, despite what some people think, “responsibility” is not a dirty word. In fact, the ability to care for yourself and be accountable for others is what separates boys from men.

Responsibility isn't a dirty word, but men shouldn't take on obligations they don't want and wont have the power to meet. Caring for yourself is great! No "and..." needed.

What separates boys from men is age.

The ultimate act of manhood is being willing to commit to one woman and the children you create for a lifetime.

Which one woman did Jesus commit to? How about Paul? And I'm sure the polygynist early Christians would be surprised to read this.

Men and boys today need to see the vocations of husband and father as central to their identity.

No, no we don't. I was me long before I married.

This is how I was raised.

I'm sorry.

My father and his peers would frequently remind the boys in our church that laziness and unwillingness to provide for your household were traits of an ungodly man.

I wasn't lazy at all and provided plenty when I was a free man.

Ultimately, healthy masculinity is found in men who exhibit self-control, wisdom, patience, courage, honesty, kindness, gentleness, grit, adventure, and love.

Husbands cede control of self. Signing terrible contracts is unwise. Married men can't be honest.

This is the life I would want for my sons and every boy, teenager, and young man in this country.

You're a sadist?

Sigh. So... what this was, was another "Get married and have kids" plea via patting himself on the back for what he's doing. He might as well pat himself on the back; hardly anyone else will.

Don't fall for it, men! You don't need a wife. Stay free!!!