My wife and I take turns arranging for romantic evenings/days. These aren't very frequent, but we alternate anyway. Either way, I'm the breadwinner so it's paid for from my earnings.
This time it was her turn to plan.
She arranged for our kids to be elsewhere. I had to drop them off. Doing that took me more than three and a half hours of driving. (The kids can't be left together - they have to be left in different places from each other.)
Ah, but at least we got to go to dinner together, just the two of us. That was nice enough. It wasn't a romantic place, just a chain place with tasty food and table service.
After dinner, per her plan, we went to an "adult" shop, one that is very "sterile" in how it is decorated, so it isn't a sleazy place. Spent a lot of time there. She kept declining anything I suggested she might enjoy. I was focused on what would help her to feel good. She finally explained to me that she had wanted us to find something I'd enjoy because she feels "guilty" about 1) doing something I really, really liked a lot, a few times, before we married but not being "able" (spoiler: willing) to do it even once since I signed on that dotted line, and 2) recently telling me she no longer wanted me to do something I'd started doing in bed in recent years I had been under the impression she enjoyed, which is why I started doing it in the first place. Even after I told her that I enjoy helping her to have a good time, she didn't want anything from the store. I'd pick up a box and she'd encourage me to put it back. I could have bought plenty of things there for me to use alone. But that wasn't why I had gone there.
After all of that, we left with some lotion.
My wife says she wants me to pleased, but she has stopped harmless, painless things she knows I enjoy and has repeatedly turned down my suggestions over the years.
On a positive note, on the drive home, she did mention something I've done in bed that she enjoys, but she wrapped up telling me that with a criticism.
Sigh.
She had mentioned earlier that we could watching something sexy when we got home.
That didn't happen.
With the kids elsewhere, with us free to go anywhere or to have the whole house to ourselves, what we did was... pretty much what we've done once every three to six weeks, when the kids are home.
So, from my perspective, all that driving I'd done earlier was so we could go to dinner without the kids. On the plus side, the kids did have a lot of fun at the different places they were.
Unless there's some sort of hormonal miracle or one of us leaves the other, this is my romantic/sex life for the rest of my life. Tame, retread sex every three to six weeks (likely less frequently as the years go by), never getting to try various things I want to try, never again getting to do or experience many things I've enjoyed before, never having her propose we try anything different.
Unmarried guys: Aren't you envious?
This time it was her turn to plan.
She arranged for our kids to be elsewhere. I had to drop them off. Doing that took me more than three and a half hours of driving. (The kids can't be left together - they have to be left in different places from each other.)
Ah, but at least we got to go to dinner together, just the two of us. That was nice enough. It wasn't a romantic place, just a chain place with tasty food and table service.
After dinner, per her plan, we went to an "adult" shop, one that is very "sterile" in how it is decorated, so it isn't a sleazy place. Spent a lot of time there. She kept declining anything I suggested she might enjoy. I was focused on what would help her to feel good. She finally explained to me that she had wanted us to find something I'd enjoy because she feels "guilty" about 1) doing something I really, really liked a lot, a few times, before we married but not being "able" (spoiler: willing) to do it even once since I signed on that dotted line, and 2) recently telling me she no longer wanted me to do something I'd started doing in bed in recent years I had been under the impression she enjoyed, which is why I started doing it in the first place. Even after I told her that I enjoy helping her to have a good time, she didn't want anything from the store. I'd pick up a box and she'd encourage me to put it back. I could have bought plenty of things there for me to use alone. But that wasn't why I had gone there.
After all of that, we left with some lotion.
My wife says she wants me to pleased, but she has stopped harmless, painless things she knows I enjoy and has repeatedly turned down my suggestions over the years.
On a positive note, on the drive home, she did mention something I've done in bed that she enjoys, but she wrapped up telling me that with a criticism.
Sigh.
She had mentioned earlier that we could watching something sexy when we got home.
That didn't happen.
With the kids elsewhere, with us free to go anywhere or to have the whole house to ourselves, what we did was... pretty much what we've done once every three to six weeks, when the kids are home.
So, from my perspective, all that driving I'd done earlier was so we could go to dinner without the kids. On the plus side, the kids did have a lot of fun at the different places they were.
Unless there's some sort of hormonal miracle or one of us leaves the other, this is my romantic/sex life for the rest of my life. Tame, retread sex every three to six weeks (likely less frequently as the years go by), never getting to try various things I want to try, never again getting to do or experience many things I've enjoyed before, never having her propose we try anything different.
Unmarried guys: Aren't you envious?
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