Another Joyful Experience With a Wife and Child

Being a married father:

1. Avoid waking your wife so she can sleep in so she can continue her habit of staying up late. (She doesn’t have a job apart from being a wife and mother.) Prepare what she likes to consume when she wakes up so it’ll be ready for her when she wakes up, which could be any time in the next three hours.

2. Give up relaxing on your day off, to take your kid out for fresh air, exercise, and play, because your kid requested it and you believe it’s the right thing to do, and you’ve already paid for the activity.

3. Find yourself in the doghouse* after your wife wakes up and realizes what you’ve done, because you were supposed to know automatically that your kid would be grounded due to acting out in the middle of the day yesterday on the mental conditions said child inherited from your wife.

4. Have wife seclude herself when the two of you return home, probably for the rest of the calendar day, if not longer.

5. Have wife decree specific punishment for the child without consulting you or so much as informing you before issuing the decree.

6. Struggle to prevent your child from self-harming after the degree is issued, as the child recounts being a toddler and witnessing mom having a psychotic break, which itself was a traumatic experience for you back when it happened, and you were an adult.

And that’s just within a span of half a day.

*What does being in the doghouse mean? Hostility. Chances are, we weren’t going to be having sex anytime soon anyway. And there’s not much else she does for me. She’ll be less attentive to the needs of the kids. That will mean more for me to do. Should she be punished for being hostile to the kids? It’s a pointless question because she’s an adult and legally has all the power. But the kids recognize they get punished for doing some of the same things their parent does.

Guys, avoid this. Stay free.