Ladies, after listening closely to Dr. Laura for many, many years, I know how to tell if you have are in a committed relationship. Some of you think you're in a committed relationship, but you're really not. I've tried to keep this as simple as possible.
Do You Have a Commitment?
Has he promised exclusivity? No > No
Yes
V
Has he agreed that you're committed? No > No
Yes
V
Does he "act committed" (you’re living together in a residence is owned/leased/rented in both names, agreed to/do have children together, is regularly home for dinner and on weekends unless deployed, shares all accounts and passwords, doesn’t keep secrets, financially provides enough if he’s not the primary caretaker of the children for you to stay home, protects you, does not have sexual or emotional connections or involvement with other women, is not willing to involve anyone else in your sex life or watch others in-person)? No > No
Yes
V
Has he given you an expensive ring? No > No
Yes
V
Has he agreed to an imminent wedding date and/or legally married to you? No > No
Yes
V
Is this a first marriage for both of you with neither of you having children by other partners? No > No
Yes
V
Did you/will you marry w/o a prenup? No > No
Yes
V
Is/will this be a marriage with a state marriage license? No > No
Yes
V
You have a commitment!!! But...
Do you have children with him? No > If he does something you don’t like consider the commitment null and void, other than whatever you can take away/secure when you leave.
Yes
V
You’re stuck with him even if he’s not acting committed at all.
Objection: “But what if we had a religious ceremony, have been together for 20 years in a house we bought together, have been monogamous the whole time, call each other husband and wife, have children together, he’s home every night and weekend, we share all accounts and passwords, we don’t keep secrets, he financially provides and I take care of the children and home, he’s always protected me, but we never got a marriage license from the state?”
NO, you don't have a commitment, because you didn’t get state marriage paperwork. Your marriage is a fraud.
That is what I've learned.
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