Monday, August 23, 2021

One More Reason to Limit Relationships

Here's another reason for men to avoid marriage and keep relationships (with women) limited if even bothering with them at all: The Permanent Record. [This is an entry from a few years ago, bumped up.]

Oh, you may think she subscribed to "forgiveness" or even "forgive and forget". But very few women actually do. All it takes is for them to get angry enough, or be hit with the wrong hormone, and things you thought you'd "worked through" together and put behind you as a couple will come back to haunt you. Since nobody is perfect, some of these things could be actual screw-ups on your part, but others will just be matters of taste or things you were right to do (or not do) that she didn't like. It could even be your tone or how you did something.

I was thinking about this because my wife responded to something I told her that should have been good news with a very cold dismissal of indifference, citing that we had to cancel certain plans she'd been excited about a year ago. Never mind that if we had gone through the plans, we'd have several thousand more dollars in credit card debt now.

It hit me that I'm going to be hearing about this literally for the rest of my life. She's going to bring it up over and over again and let it cloud all sorts of things.

Never mind that I make well above the national median household income. She's expensive, and she herself has said so. I refuse to liquidate our retirement savings to sustain a lifestyle that is beyond our means. I don't want to take more tax hits on income on which I've already been taxed and we need MORE retirement savings, not less. It's bad enough we're not putting more away now.

The fact of the matter is, my current income would be more than enough to provide me with a comfortable life, all the involvement in my hobbies I'd like, and a comfortable retirement. This would be the case even if I never increased my income other than along with inflation.

But it's not just me. It's my wife, our kids, and my wife's brother and his wife.

So think about that the next time someone tells you married men are better off financially.

And let The Permanent Record be another reason NOT to marry. If you insist on being in a relationship, when the record becomes too much to deal with, it is time to move on and clear that space in your life for someone fresh. It'll take time for that new record with a new woman to get bad. And the previous woman won't have to deal with you anymore, so you'll be saving her aggravation, right? The Permanent Record is just one of many reasons to keep relationships casual, rather than forming a legal corporation with a woman.

4 comments:

  1. I read your post about not dating single mom's and for half of a second I started feeling sorry for myself. After reading a few of your blogs I've discovered it's not me I feel sorry for, it's you that I feel sorry for. You're miserable. You clearly hate your life. You're wife isn't sleeping with you so you take your pent up rage out on women via blog post. My life is awesome by the way. Yes, I am a single mother, but I don't have anyone to answer to, I have no one to fight with, I have this super cool son that I can do totally awesome things with.... Your miserable life has made me realize how amazing my life really is. Thank you for your shallow post... really! Now whenever I get down and out about being single I can read how miserable your life is (and sexless) and I can start feelimg better about myself again!

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous4:51 AM

      There are many things I don't agree in this blog (and some I do), but honest question, you feel better reading about other people's misery? Does seeing (reading about) other people being worse than you, makes you feel about yourself?

      Delete
  2. My life is not miserable. Marriage is. You're proving my point: Avoiding relationships is good. Thanks.

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  3. Anonymous4:57 PM

    Yes indeed, Ken. I agree with you.

    I'm a 37 year old single male, never married, no children, and I love my life without responsibilities. Not having to answer to anyone, and freedom to do whatever the f**k I want.

    There was the stupid study about how "married men and single women are the most happiest". Link here https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert

    Would you like to offer your take on this bullshit? "If you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother.”

    And "Men benefited from marriage because they “calmed down”, he said. “You take less risks, you earn more money at work, and you live a little longer.""

    I'll give you mine.

    "If you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother.”

    So he's telling women not to bother getting married, but men to get married, makes so much sense. Well, except if he's referring to gay marriage.

    And the second part, of how "men benefit from marriage because they calm down"". I'll dig into it here:

    1) You take less risks. Aka "you do less things you actually would want to do, and accept more responsibilities". I'll use a part of it in the next point.

    2) You earn more money at work. Uh, maybe if I don't have a partner, I won't need the extra money? Especially as I have been trying to live as frugally as possible, not making many major purchases. And besides, coming back to the first point, who are more likely to take higher risk jobs that pay more, single or married men?

    And does the "single" men category include divorced men? Never married don't have to pay alimony, as opposed to divorced.

    3) You live a little longer. Aka, carriage horse also lives longer than a wild mustang.

    Again, who are those "single" and "married" men? Let's try dividing them into single, married, divorced and widowed and now let's see the results.

    And lastly, obviously, the 75+ age bracket is totally where I want more years, because I so want to be 88 and be visited by grandchildren in a nursing home while I shit in a bedpan and tell boring stories.

    No thanks, I'll rather accept my shorter life and live the most of it, more fun-filled. In the words of Meat Loaf: "A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age."

    ReplyDelete

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