She posts notable letters (some of which she read on-air) to her website, and I read through them every week.
Recently, a caller to her radio show wasn't comfortable supporting his wife's plans for breast enhancement. "S" wrote in to say:
I am a living testament to your response, which was "She's not getting them for you." After a 20 year marriage, the last gift I bought for my wife was a set of new breasts. She filed for divorce about 9 months later, leaving me to raise that now 3rd Class Petty Officer in the Coast Guard all by my lonesome.Some women get their boyfriends to pay for their breast enhancement (or some other plastic surgery). Some guys offer. Either way, those guys are fools.
So when friends and acquaintances tell me their wives want new breasts... I always grin, wink and warn them... "Before you call the plastic surgeon... call a lawyer...!"
Husbands are also fools for supporting this. Think about it – these guys were already attracted to these women. Why should they pay for her to change her body? She isn't doing it for them. She's doing it because she thinks it will get her a better financial offer, or because she wants more attention from other men.
Of course there are some exceptions to this. A wife who has experienced disease, an accident, or an assault - or even breast feeding or significant weight loss - that has disfigured or significantly changed her breasts may feel like "restoring" them will bring her more confidence or ease the memory of a bad experience.
But in general, husbands can handle the fact that their wife is getting older. Any guy who can't handle that should not get married in the first place. Her breasts may have been what caught his eye in the first place, but if he hasn’t moved beyond that and found passion for her as a whole person, then there's a problem. In other words, I'm attracted to my wife's breasts, but that attraction is now based more on the fact that they are a part of her rather than how they take up space. And yes, I do like how they take up space. But I love the fact that she's committed to breastfeeding, regardless of the effect it will have on how her breasts look.
If a wife really, really insists on getting breast enhancement surgery, and using community property to pay for it, her husband should insist on a legally enforceable post-nuptial agreement (yes, there are such things) that gives him some restitution should she subsequently bolt.
I don't know if I agree with you. My husband is an admitted breast-guy ... 3 kids, all breastfed ... leaves a girl a little unsure.
ReplyDeleteEverything on TV and movies is so fake, and I don't WANT to think he'd like me better with a couple of water balloons surgically implanted ... but females are constantly bombarded by the idea that they do not look good enough ... and he can't hardly help it when his attention is diverted by the surgically enhanced.
So, I will hope you are right, that you speak for most guys, and more specifically, my guy, but one guy saying he loves me just the way I am is a whisper in the hurricane of "buy this and be better."
I understand the media bombardment. But remember, there's no money in it for the advertisers to tell you that you are GREAT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! They want you to spend, spend, spend, to look "better".
ReplyDeleteSo do you look the same as you did when he first gazed on you in all of your glory? No, but you've shown him your love and respect for him, and "properly cared for and fed" him. For most men, that makes a wife even more attractive than when she was when they married.
Attitude and actions... they are the key.
As I said, if a woman really wants to "restore" herself to the way she looked before, then that is different from a woman who has always been, say, a B-cup deciding she wants implants to make her a C, D, or DD. Your husband already loves you. You have him. It is more important to be his partner, to show him love, respect, and affection... that all matters so much more.