Men often fail to be sensitive enough to the feelings of their wives. It is too easy for a man to think, “Well I don’t feel that way, so neither should you,” or to cite some fact that counters the feelings.
But someone’s feelings are their own, and may or may not be based on something rational. As a husband, I think we could reduce a lot of marital strife if we 1) honor her feelings by listening and being observant; 2) acknowledging her feelings when she tells us about them; 3) talking about if there is anything reasonable we can do about the feelings; 4) doing what we can, as long as it is right.
A woman’s intuition can often catch things that we have failed to objectively ascertain - such as the character flaws of an individual.
There is a reason God made men and women different. Both masculinity and femininity have important contributions to life and relationships.
Men who can’t handle this should remain unmarried.
None of what I wrote means that women should go to their husbands to endlessly complain about things he can’t change, or she doesn’t want him to change or fix. And it also helps if the wife makes it clear whether she wants simply a listening ear to which she can vent, or if she’s looking for an actual solution from him - he's not a mind reader.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
4 comments:
Please no "cussing" or profanities or your comment won't be published. I have to approve your comment before it appears. I won't reject your comment for disagreement - I actually welcome disagreement. But I will not allow libelous comments (which is my main reason for requiring approval) and please try to avoid profanities. Thanks!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I find it really helps my hubby if when I'm just downloading my feelings to start with "I need to download my thoughts" and finish with, "I feel better now. Thanks for being an ear." He then knows he doesn't have to fix.
ReplyDeleteSounda like another Men-are-the-villian-of-the-piece to me. Yet another diatribe on how men are insensitive, not living up to God's ordained role, not measuring up, etc and ad nauseum.
ReplyDeleteMen will be exactly who they want to be, without being jammed into a mold of someone else's choosing. Women will do exactly the same. In either case:
Deal with it.
If these facts about each other are not understood from the get-go, you married the wrong person. And who's fault is that?
That's right...yours.
You really think I'm out to portray men as villains? No more so that I portray women as villains. We are both flawed and go against God, and in that sense, both villains.
ReplyDeleteI was simply pointing out a way husbands can make their marriages better, and was NOT suggesting men fundamentally change who they are. I spend a lot more words here telling women what THEY can do.
Yes, men and women should understand before they marry that MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT. That is a basic truth of life that even little kids know that some adults somehow ignore, or are amazed to 'discover' when they do controlled experiments.
But part of the marital commitment is to work with those differences without wives losing their femininity or husbands losing their masculinity.
Fair enough...
ReplyDeleteI retract my former statements and issue an apology, as they were based upon knee-jerk reaction.