A lot of husbands and now-ex-husbands know the pain of a sexually rejecting wife. By "rejecting" I mean at least one of the following:
1. Refusing to have sex at all.
2. Only agreeing to sex infrequently. "Infrequently" is a relative term. If they were having some form of sex every day for years and now she only agrees to sex once per week even though no changes in their life would prevent her from agreeing more frequently, that's rejection. Other husbands WISH they could get it once per week. They might get it once a month or a couple of times per year.
3. Reducing sexual options to a bare minimum. This could mean rejecting acts she used to do, especially if she did them before they had kids or before they married. It could be consistently restricting sex to intercourse or manual sex even though he has told her he wants to other other common sex acts. It could be her impersonating a corpse (when she knows her husband isn't into that sort of thing).
4. Transforming her appearance and/or changing her behavior in ways that will kill his attraction. Significant weight gain; shortening her hair and/or changing her hair style/color to something he doesn't like; always wearing frumpy clothes when she used to wear sexy vestments; poor grooming/hygiene; cruel, belittling, or disrespectful statements (when he isn't into that sort of thing); expressing her general dislike of sex when she previously at least pretended to enjoy it - these are all forms of rejection, make no mistake about it.
I know sometimes man bites dog, and sometimes a husband rejects his wife. That's not what I'm addressing in this entry.
Nor am I going to default to blaming the husband. There are husbands who do "everything" right and still experience rejection from their wife. That's what I'm talking about here. "Just talk with her!" Sorry, that doesn't always work. Some husbands end up with "sex" with a woman who has talked in ways that make it clear he has a hostage; some would liken it to marital rape as she is "agreeing" to sex solely out of obligation.
What are his options? (No, assault is NOT an option.) What are his options other than simply suffering and being mentally castrated? These are in no particular order.
1. Masturbation. It's not the same thing, but it's better than nothing. Adding erotica/porn, toys, dolls, etc. can intensify the experience, and in the not-too-distant future, toys/dolls/robots are going to get sophisticated enough that the average man might have trouble distinguishing the experience from a really great sex session. That really bothers the ball-busters, sadists, and masochists who want men to suffer.
2. In-the-flesh sex workers. An experienced professional is likely to provide physical experiences that are superior anyway, and if she is a good actress/talker, it might be emotionally superior, too. Some people have issues with this for various reasons. It's too bad the money that pays for this couldn't all come out of the wife's share.
3. An "unauthorized" affair. A girlfriend on the side or a mistress is a common solution in many cultures. No, I'm not saying every such situation is a result of a wife's rejection, just that if a wife rejects her husband, it's one way he might handle it.
4. An "authorized" girlfriend. Essentially, a form of polyamory. The girlfriend might even be picked out, or at least approved of, by the wife. The wife at least gives her husband something like approval to go "outside the marriage." Maybe they "officially" open their marriage.
5. Leave. Separation or divorce, and then him finding a new wife (DON'T DO THAT, guys!!!), taking on new lovers, going to sex workers, and/or masturbation without his wife around nagging.
Ladies, don't be surprised if any he chooses any of those.
Of course, the problem with leaving or doing anything that prompts her to file for separation or divorce is that his fate gets put into the family courts, where he can be screwed over.
Although some religions say the spouses belong to each other (and divorce might even be considered wrong), when it comes down to it, she gets to decide what she's going to do with her body. But if that is her attitude, she doesn't get to decide what he does with his body, and she doesn't get to decide he's never going to have sex (or a specific sex act) again.
Because men and women literally think and feel differently, most wives don't really understand what her rejection of him feels like to him and what it does to him. Some people try to equate it to "Imagine if your husband stopped talking with you and literally stopped listening to you."
My man, this is one of a million things you don't have to worry about and won't have to deal with if you avoid marriage. If you're a Free Man, our culture is just fine with it if you scroll through your list of contacts until you find a woman who will do what you want tonight. Husbands? They have to suffer. Even if you avoid fornication, at least as a Free Man you won't be losing half of your income to a woman who doesn't care for you.
Comment below if you're so inclined. Has a your girlfriend or wife rejected you? Have you rejected someone in a relationship? What happened? Tell us about it!
Looking around me during a football match ending, the bar is still full of men, married men. So I ask the one on my right if he isn't supposed to go home to have sweet love to his wife. He chuckled first, than laughed. Same situation another time with a different person. And another one. And another one once more.
ReplyDeleteIt didn't take long before I realized that this people live in sexless relations with their wifes. Far too many to count. Eventually she becomes dormant.
To be fair I have also heard complains coming from women. Some of them also are rejected by their husbands eventually, but it's much more rare (at least from the people I know).
I honestly feel sorry for both parties involved in this sham called marriege. It seems to denigrate both men and women. But, from my perspective (as a man), it seems more degrading to men in general.