Would You Get on That Airplane?

Dr. Laura often gets calls from people who have a minor child and these parents are engaged, in a relationship, dating, etc., or considering it. Dr. Laura will tell them that marriages in which there's a stepchild (that's what their child would be to their spouse) have a 70 percent divorce rate, and that the rest of the marriages aren't all happy ones. She says this to discourage them from bringing more chaos and conflict into their child's life; to tell them that their minor children shouldn't even know they are dating. Indeed, if they've married or shacked up, whatever the child is doing that the parent doesn't like will be attributed to this fact, even if children in intact homes do the same thing.

Concerned for the child(ren), she drives the point home by asking "Would you go on an airplane if it had a 70 percent chance of having a terrible crash?"

Of course the answer is no.

But what's the divorce rate for first marriages without stepchildren?

Conservative estimates put it at about 30 or 33 percent.

So I have to ask, men, if you'd get on an airplane that has a one-in-three or three-in-ten chance of crashing? Especially given that odds are, there will be children involved who will go through that divorce, by the time it happens?


This is where people like Dr. Laura might say, "Well, we have no choice because society must go on" or "Choose wisely, spend two years getting to know them, get premarital counseling, and treat kindly, so things will work out well!"

The thing is, there are people who do everything "right" and still end up in miserable marriages or divorced.

Yes, people can hide who they really are for a couple of years. It happens with espionage, it happens with infiltrators. Also, hormonal problems, injuries, illnesses, and psychological traumas (think accidents, cancer, violent crime, etc.) can profoundly change someone for the worse. Our laws and culture empower wives to ruin their husbands.

Marriage is voluntary. Just say no, men.