Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Many People Do Both

There are many lame arguments out there, especially when expressed in tweets, against "porn". That's in quotes because some of these scold accounts say anything that arouses someone other than their live, in-the-flesh spouse, is porn. Meanwhile most people would think of porn as videos and pictures explicitly depicting people having sex, and that's about it (other than, maybe, delivering a pizza).

Before I go further, exposing bad arguments does NOT mean I think any given media content, or the production or "use" thereof, is a good thing. It means I find bad arguments to be annoying.

There are tweets out there like "Real relationships take time, effort, and sacrifice, but they are infinitely more valuable than any time spent watching porn." Similar tweets say, basically, that instead of masturbating to porn, men should be pursuing relationships with real woman, or that porn can't replace real love. Stuff like that.

The problem with that argument, whatever variation it takes, is that it presents a false dichotomy, as though the choice is to watch porn or have relationships. The overwhelming majority of porn viewers are in relationships. And, if we’re going by the scolds’ definition, the majority of people who are in relationships view porn.


It’s also of note that some of the same people who argue that “relationships are better than porn” also say that “real women” can’t compete with porn. So at least in some respects, they think porn is superior to what men want.

There are guys who are swearing off relationships,  going on a marriage strike or identifying as MGTOW or going ghost or otherwise avoiding relationships. Some of those guys view porn. So maybe the argument is being targeted at that very small percentage of the population? The thing is, even if porn wasn't a thing,  most of those guys still wouldn't want relationships and certainly not what we call marriage today. Finally, as I've said before, if a guy thinks porn provides all he needs from women do you really want him dating?

But since the scolds want to compare porn to relationships, let's explore that idea.

Let's Compare Porn to Relationships.

Porn

ObtainingAll it takes is going on your device (phone, tablet, laptop, desktop, television). There is an endless supply for free, but is also material that requires relatively small fees.

What It Does That Men Like
Provides an instant, never-ending, never fading supply of varied visual and auditory depictions of women and sexual situations a man finds extremely attractive, appealing and arousing with no strings attached, in the privacy of his own home or hotel room or wherever he is.

What It Does That Men Don't Like
A man might have to deal with ads, malware, or skip past material that doesn’t appeal to him or even turns him off.

What Men Have to Give Up to Have It
Whatever time you spend watching, and a meager amount of money if you purchase rather than relying on what you can access for free.


A Relationship

Obtaining
Unless you simply let some aggressive, controlling woman insert herself into your life, obtaining and maintaining a relationship takes a ridiculous amount of time, money, and effort. See this for details.

What It Does That Men Like
Provides companionship, which some, but not all, men want.
MIGHT provide childbearing, which some, but not all, men want.
MIGHT provide domestic help.
MIGHT provide affection.
MIGHT provide visual, auditory, olfactory, gustory, and tactile erotic stimulation.

What It Does That Men Don't Like
All of these things above are provided at the voluntary generosity of the woman can be rescinded at any time. If not married, a man can also rescind everything he provides, but if married, he will at least be compelled by government to continue his financial payments.

The erotic stimulation is restricted to one aging woman, becoming repetitive and diminishing.*

He can hire professionals to do all of the above who can do a much better job and can do it for much less than what it costs to be married or to have a girlfriend.

Gives him sexually transmitted diseases.

Brings him her debts

Brings him the children she made with other men, and all of their problems and expenses.

Brings him all of her other problems.

Brings him her cackling friends and family.


Brings him arguments, nagging, endless complaining and whining.

Brings him more and much bigger bills.

Moving a woman into his home removes his control over that home and creates the risk of him being evicted from his own home while being required to still pay for it.

Legal marriage 1) assigns default paternity even if the conception was against his will and with an adultery partner 2) assigns massive financial obligations to him.

Results in loss of control over his own life/time/home/finances.

Very likely, provides him with a bitter, nasty, crazy ex.


What Men Have to Give Up to Have It

His dreams
His freedom
His autonomy
Large amounts of his money (over half if he marries, even more if he has kids)
His masculinity (if he marries).
His dignity
His friends
His family
Most of his time
Peace and quiet

See here for more about why a man wouldn't want a relationship.


So, as we can see, if these scolds want to compare porn to relationships, they're going to be undermining their own goals, which are to reduce porn use and encourage men to get into relationships.


*Although there are exceptions, very few women are sincerely OK with their boyfriend/fiancé/husband being with other women, even under her own supervision/participation. Far more women are OK with him viewing porn, a few of them will watch with him. However, the people who tweet out arguments like the one we are picking apart tend to be vehemently opposed to any porn viewing and anything other than strict monogamy.

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