I Can't Even Get Enough Sleep

As I pried myself out of bed after yet another too-short sleep, with no end in sight, something I already knew really sank in.

If I was an unmarried, child-free guy, I could actually get enough sleep.

Instead of getting up when I do when I prepare for work, I could sleep in at least another two hours, because I would be living closer to where I work and I would have less to do for other people before I leave the house.

I wouldn't have this dog that does various things that delay my sleep, wake me up, and diminish the quality of my sleep.

After work, I'd have a shorter commute home, fewer chores and errands to do, and wouldn't have to tend to the kids.

I could do things without being interrupted by what my wife and kids want.

Right now, on days I work, I'm getting about five hours of sleep, on average. On the other days, I'm lucky if I get eight. "How about naps?" you ask? Dog won't have it. She'll start barking. Constantly. At nothing.

Now, I'm not saying I'd always get a full night's rest if I was still unmarried and child-free. There would no doubt be times I would be up late at home or out late, or early for that matter, but it wouldn't be this consistent state of being sleep deprived.

Some people have trouble falling asleep. Not me. I can go to sleep in seconds, at least when the dog isn't interfering.


In addition to more and better sleep, and the much better financial shape I'd be in if I hadn't married, my overall quality of life would generally be better and more enjoyable. I could watch what I want to watch and listen to what I want to listen to, and interact online - using the best equipment in the house - in ways I simply can't with the wife and kids present. I'm not talking about porn, I'm talking about things as simple as researching current events, or watching a recent movie.

My time off from work is mostly spent running around taking care of the needs and wants of my wife and kids. In the rare circumstances I'll have a block of time that isn't doing that, there are so many things I'd like to do that I have trouble picking what to do (but I do pick). Sometimes, though, such a block of time will disappear as some timely chore or errand pops up.

It makes me want to take up golf without actually golfing.


But aren't you getting benefits? you might be asking. Don't you have those special moments as a husband and a father?

Yes, sometimes, there are moments, more with the kids (usually individually) than with the wife. But this is like saying "Give up your house and live in this tent, and once in a while you'll be able to walk through this really nice classic art gallery for a few minutes at a time." Hey, I like classic art. It's really nice to walk through a high quality museum full of it; experiences I can't get otherwise. But the rest of the time, I'm living in a tent (I am NOT the type to like camping) when I really liked living in a house that was well-suited for me.

I'm not sure I couldn't have those moments with nieces and nephews.

There's a lot I like about my kids, but those things are mostly things I like about them as people, not because they're genetically related to me, came from my loins, or because I'm responsible for them. They could live next door and I'd like those things about them.

You might be reading this and wondering how I could be anything less than constantly overjoyed by fatherhood. Maybe I'm not thinking clearly because I don't get enough sleep!!!