Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Some Men Are Masochists

...and I don't mean in the fun, sexual sense.

A picture popped up in my Facebook feed that caused me to laugh out loud and shake my head.

My ex-fiancee and her ex-husband posted a picture in an update that stated they were in a relationship (again). Read that again if you didn't quite catch it.

I've probably written about this before, but I'm not finding the entries so here's the background...



Back in my wayward youth, when I was still living under the delusion that everyone was in a relationship and that you "made it work" short of abuse. cheating, or serious crime, I was with a woman who, long after we had both gotten on with our lives and were married to other people, told me she'd been diagnosed with a mental illness or two.

It made so much sense of our relationship. (By the way, have you ever tried to tell someone who is insecure, hypersensitve, and overly dramatic that they are?)

She'd pushed for an engagement rather quickly. I was her third or fourth fiance. Her previous relationship ended with the cops getting involved and arresting her fiance, who, through my own dealings with him, struck me as a bit nuts himself. No, these red flags didn't send me running. I was very stupid and inexperienced about these matters then.

She kept breaking up with me and demanding to get back together. In an effort to try to please her, my relationships with my family and friends were deteriorating. I'd come home and see my light on, realize she was there, and not want to walk through the door. Again, I should have run like Bolt a lot earlier, but I didn't.

Not long after I finally refused to take her back, she was with a "friend" of hers who a lot of people say looked like me, and they married quickly. I figure in retrospect, I was a placeholder for him.

Fast forward. I'm on good terms with them. In fact, he and his parents invite me an my next girlfriend to an exclusive club for a nice meal. And later, I got married (not to that girlfriend) and the four of us were on good terms. They were living in another state, and we even stayed at their place once night when we went through. I don't have any animosity for these people.


...But... she apparently kept breaking up with him. They got divorced at least once, when she told him it would just be a "paper divorce" for financial reasons because he was having trouble keeping a job and she was working steadily. Then after he signed on the dotted line, she dumped him.

Already, I was so thankful that I had not married her, but stuff like that reinforced it.

Earlier this year, she married some guy in a band. A guy in a band. After indicating that the problem with her husband was financial instability. (They don't have any kids together, by the way... she can't get pregnant.)

And a few days ago, she posted a status update referencing her thanks for people who've stuck with her through some sort of trouble.

And then that picture showed up. She's back with her (first) ex-husband.

I would not be the least bit surprised if they end up the subjects of a Dateline NBC hour on murder/suicide. That guy is some sort of masochist. She's nuts. Flat-out nuts. And a schemer, obviously. And while most crazy chicks are a lot of fun in bed, take it from me that she's not. Whatever she does to him from this point forward, he deserves, because he signed up knowing what he was getting himself into. If this was some sort of elaborate revenge plot on his part, I'd have some respect for him, but he's way too nice for that. So he's going to be a doormat for a long as she'll have him.

UPDATE August 25,  2016: They just remarried. I assume that's legally, not just ceremonially, but I don't know. Well, better that guy than me, or some other guy who'd have no idea what he's getting himself into. I still wouldn't be surprised if they end up a "true crime" story on television.

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