Wednesday, January 07, 2015

I Want You to Want Me

"Glen"  has Dr. Laura's e-mail of the day:


I have been married for 27 years.

Much longer than me.
And the time is coming up quickly on the one year anniversary since my wife and I have had sex.

And I thought once every three weeks, which is our frequency these days, was bad!

I totally accept 100% of the blame for this. You see...I stopped asking to have sex. Since then...nothing.

What I came to realize is that my wife has no interest in me sexually. And at this point the most un-appealing thing to me is to be with someone who is not interested.

I identify with this man very much. That is very much how I feel.
I can't imagine ever being intimate with my wife again. It's kind of sad...funny...frustrating...that the one person in this world I find more attractive than anyone else, doesn't want to be intimate with me.
He goes on to say:

All I think about is being with someone else. In fact it is kind of like hating your job. I was always taught to keep the bad job until something else comes along. I guess I am waiting for that something/someone better to come along.

That is where we differ. Yes, I'd want sex. No, I would not want another relationship - ever. I'm a loyal guy anyway, so I'm not going to ever jump ship because some other woman comes along. I may jump ship, but the only way I'd ever get into another relationship is if I would be a kept man. Otherwise, I do not want the risks or all of the trouble.




My wife has recently switched her depression medications. She made it clear that the only reason she was going to switch was to get some sex drive back and regain her ability to have a orgasm. From the way she said it and the words she used it was very clear that she doesn't care about sex and it doesn't bother her that she hasn't wanted sex or had orgasms. She isn't switching for her benefit, she is switching for mine. However, in saying that, she mostly removes the benefit to me, and so it defeats the purpose.

Sad.

I repeatedly and explicitly told her to take whatever medication was best for her. I don't want her back on the medication she was on when she last tried to kill herself quickly (as opposed to slowly, which she does by what she does and doesn't do in daily life).

This is all crap I specifically did NOT want to deal with, which is why I made it clear I wanted to only date-for-marriage someone who was healthy. It's too bad I trusted people to be honest rather than being suspicious and demanding records.

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