I recently went to a gathering/reunion of sorts. It was hosted to remember someone with whom I use to work who took his own life.
Aside from the fact that I do not believe we are, in the ultimate sense, our own (I believe we belong to God) and this kind of suicide is morally wrong, I also believe that life is way too short as it is.
But "John", I'll call him, obviously didn't feel that way. I don't have much information with which to work, but from what I understand, the suicide could have been motivate by the fact that he'd essentially been unemployed for the last four years.
He was a handsome, friendly guy with a great smile and a great sense of humor, and he did have artistic talent. He just wasn't make a living with it.
For most men, being unemployed that long is spirit-crushing. Career women are an extremely important part of today's world, and for some women, their careers are everything. But the fact remains, women tends to marry men who earn more than they do. Quality women who want a family tend to look for men who will provide enough "security" for them to not have to work full time. When a woman hears from a female friend that the friend is seeing a new man, the first, or one of the first questions will be "What does he do for a living?" if it wasn't immediately stated. Men don't care all that much what each other's girlfriends do for a living (a guy will boast about his date's job only if it implies she is beautiful/sexy).
For men like John, not having a successful career is devastating.
John had a brother and countless cousins. He probably looked around him and saw all of them in their marriages and raising children. He was in his mid-40s and hadn't been able to build enough stability or savings to support a family, and probably realized that even if his career were to take off tomorrow, it was going to be too late for him to build a relationship, marry, have children, and fit in to the culture of his extended family.
It is too bad he didn't see the good possibilities ahead, even if he never married, even if he ended up working a low-level job for the rest of his life. It is too bad that he did this to his family and friends.
I've known too many people who have taken their own lives.
Life is too short as it is. There are always good times ahead. There is help. Get help instead of doing this to those who love you.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
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I am sorry, but the biggest fallacy regarding suicide is that its all about other people. When someone is in that amount of pain, it is about them, not the people they potentially leave behind. These same people to whom one supposedly owes their lives are blissfully unaware of the pain their "loved one" is in. That, or they minimize what they are feeling, saying stupid things like "that's nothing over which to kill yourself" or worse "man up and stop being a baby".
ReplyDeleteThese people need to be shot, and they should feel every inch of grief they feel if the other succeeds. It is not an easy way out. It is not a coward's way out. It is an end to pain.
As far as belonging to God, when someone is in dire need and God lets them suffer, to that person God is a mis-user of his property, a cruel despot who says that life here is unimportant compared to eternity, but still punishes unreasoningly for stuff that happens in this life.
A soul in pain is not a criminal. It is a desperate being in search of some end...any end...to pain.
I wish I were not speaking from experience.