EHarmony.com Attacked Again By Competitor

A dating website is trying to get traction by bashing EHarmony.com again. EHarmony.com is highly visible, has many more millions of subscribers, and often gets results, so it is understandable that this other service tries to make a name for itself using EHarmony.com’s name.

This new round of marketing will attempt to portray EHarmony.com as out-of-touch with American values. Why? Well, EHarmony.com won’t match people up who have serious depression or other serious relationship-damaging emotional/mental problems that its extensive personality profile detects. It won’t match up people who have demonstrated a repeated inability to stay married. It also won’t match up someone who is currently married, or people who are too young for serious, committed relationships.

Shocking, I know. Who doesn’t want to be matched with an unstable, depressed person who is legally married to someone else and has three divorces already?

The real topper is that EHarmony.com is based on years of intending-to-marry and marital counseling, so it is based on the dynamics between men and women, and thus does not have the experience to offer same-sex matching. Ooh, this one gets some people all worked up. They insist there is no difference. Which makes me wonder – if there is no difference, then why don’t these people try being matched with someone of the opposite sex? Answer: because there is a difference. Otherwise, everyone would be neutrally bisexual.

But this complaint about EHarmony.com is already tired, so the new one to is bash EHarmony.com by attacking founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren’s determinations that note the correlation between fornication, shacking up, and higher divorce rates. Yes, you see – Eharmony.com is “out touch with American values” because Dr. Warren has noticed that being a slut or a cad makes it less likely you will stay married. Never mind that EHarmony.com doesn’t keep a record of your sex life, or drop your account if you fornicate.

If you read what Dr. Warren wrote around the time of EHarmony.com’s launch, he makes it clear that he intended to use the service to lower the divorce rate by matching and guiding to open communication/first date only those people who are fundamentally compatible with each other and likely to get married and stay happily married. So it is “out of touch” with the “value” of the high divorce rate. Maybe that’s a good thing. It is “out of touch” with the American value where people in a relationship act like squabbling siblings competing for an edge over each other, trying to make it work with someone who is simply not compatible with them or able to have a healthy relationship. And yes, Dr. Warren is “out of touch” with Hollywood’s “value” of shameless casual fornication and shacking up.

But EHarmony.com does not bar fornicators. So who is really intolerant? Perhaps it is the service that makes fun of those who value purity and saving sex for marriage? What are their values anyway? The more fornication the better? Broken-hearts are good; out-of-wedlock pregnancies, and STDs are a-okay? Inflicting an untreated depressed person on someone looking for love? Spending time, money, emotions, and energy on someone with whom you are incompatible is fine, as long as they get you hot?

If you want to go with the rejects… be their guest! Go to that other site owned by IAC/InterActiveCorp. Go find people who are still married, people who have been divorced too many times, people who can’t answer a series of questions without appearing depressed or unstable...and good luck to you.

If you are just looking for a hookup, then there are easier places to go.

But if you want serious matchmaking with marriage in mind, I’d recommend a subscriber service that figures out who you are and puts you through a guided communication process; a service with a large number of subscribers – one like EHarmony.com. It’s not perfect, but it can be very useful.