Dennis Prager, Devout Christians, and Divorce

As I've pointed out before, Dennis Prager is not a hypocrite on divorce. His critics love to point out he's been divorced twice (so far), but Dennis has never said people shouldn't divorce. He does say people should marry and that if it is miserable or the contract, as he sees it, isn't being upheld, they should divorce (so they can marry someone else).

The problem is, the company for which Mr. Prager, a believing Jew, primarily works in radio, Salem, is a Christian company, quite aligned with Evangelicalism. While it still happens a lot, divorce is strongly discouraged in Evangelicalism and it is looked down upon. Mr. Prager says he doesn't understand why it is looked down upon and discouraged. Evangelicals and similar believers cite Jesus' words in the Bible (Matthew 5:32 and 19:9) that divorce is only permitted in the event of "marital unfaithfulness" or "sexual immorality" depending on which translation is being used. In this case, "marital unfaithfulness" is referring to sexual matters, not simply being a bad spouse. What exactly is entailed in "sexual immorality" is debated, although Evangelical leaders will usually (publicly, if not in personal behavior) define that as "having sex with anyone other than your spouse, including threesomes and swinging with your spouse, and looking at porn."

Keep in mind some of the men following Jesus were polygynists, and whether they were or not, their definition of "sexual immorality" might have been different than present-day Evangelicalism's or Roman Catholic Church's.

Presumably, legal/physical separation is permitted in the event of abuse, addiction, or abandonment. Many Evangelicals would say those also justify divorce, but unless they can make a good argument that Jesus wasn't being thorough in explaining what would make divorce permissible, I don't know where they're getting those exceptions. People who believe "sexual immorality" is the only exception and that Jesus's statements in the Bible are authoritative are expected to either live with the person they married or stay alone; divorce and/or taking up with someone else (meaning marrying them) is a no-no unless the divorce is justified by "sexual immorality." Hubby beats you? Separate from him but don't divorce. Don't marry someone else.

Now, in practice, divorce and re-marriage aren't rare among Evangelicals or Catholics, regardless of whether "sexual immorality" was involved in initially breaking up the marriage. By their definition, sexual immorality soon follows in almost all cases, at least justifying the divorce then. For example, the spouses don't get along, so they break up, and as soon as one of them starts having sex with someone else, legally married to that new lover or not, that's "sexual immorality."

Do you see where this is going? If you think your husband is abusive, have sex with someone else, and divorce becomes permissible. Sure, you're a sinner, but we're all sinners. Or, just stop having sex with him. When he has sex with someone else or watches porn, then he's the sinner and you've got your "be justified in divorcing" card.

But... divorce is discouraged. It's considered tragic, sinful, a failure, etc.
 

Dennis Prager's listeners/readers, especially his Evangelical ones, should keep that in mind when he urges them to marry, especially when he urges them to marry young: He tells people to get out of the marriage if the other person isn't holding up their end of the contract. Based on what he's communicated, that contract includes, among other things, that the spouses make an effort not to have affairs (affairs shouldn't necessitate divorce unless the spouse us unrepentant), that the husband pay the wife's way through life, that he continue to romance her; that the wife try to look attractive for the husband and have sex with him when he wants it, and that she understand he's going to look at other women and not be angry with him for doing so. Neither one should hide any part of themselves from the other.

He also thinks it is OK (good?) to get sexual before marrying, though he says it is ideal to keep intercourse withing marriage (from what I understand, although he doesn't seem to speak out against shacking up).

"Marriage" can mean different things depending on who is using it.

In Dennis Prager's view, people pretty much sexually test drive each other before they marry, man's sexual obligation to his wife includes not having sex with others, but he can still look. A wife's obligation to her husband includes agreeing to have sex sometimes even when she's not in the mood. If things don't work out, divorce. In the view of many of his listeners, there should be no test driving, the husband shouldn't even be looking at other women (or pixels depicting them), and divorce is to be avoided except, perhaps, if there is sexual immorality. If that means the spouses are miserable for the rest of their lives, so be it.

To Dennis Prager, a marriage that ended in divorce isn't a failure if someone learned or "grew" from the marriage. Never mind the fact that the person could have grown, maybe even more, if they hadn't married. He thinks men aren't real men unless they marry, because married men got to wear a shawl in his childhood religious congregation (no, really), and he doesn't see why people should marry later rather than sooner. He knows family courts are often terrible to men, but hey, they get to wear a shawl if they're married.

He has said, "Why not get married, if that is what the woman wants?" Translated, that is asking "Why not legally sign over your earnings - more than half of them - to this woman, and take on the risks of default paternity fraud, and get nothing in return?"

He'll keep advocating that men marry. I'll keep warning men.