Another Round of Whining About Dr. Laura

A mob of "victims" is trying to cancel Dr. Laura again.

You see, ideally, according to Dr. Laura and tradcons and the like, a man and a woman marry and then make babies together and raise those babies to adulthood together.

That's not the controversial part this time.

One of Dr. Laura's main priorities is the well-being of children. This means having a Mommy and Daddy married to each other raising that child, without anything unduly interfering in that bond. Dr. Laura refers to men who don't raise their children as "sperm donors".

When a childfree woman is pregnant and not in a good marriage, Dr. Laura's advice to her is to give the child, through a closed private adoption, to a happily and stably married man and woman to raise the child.

If, however, a woman who is pregnant or has a child who is too young to remember anything marries another man and he ends up being a good father to that child, who is not his biological child, Dr. Laura doesn't think it is good to tell the child, especially while they are growing up, that the man they know as their father isn't their biological father, because that can weaken or damage the bond they have.

Dr. Laura makes it very clear that she doesn't believe DNA is destiny. People make their own lives through their choices. If a man is a present, good father to you, he is your father. If you have a biological relative you've never met, like a half sibling or a "sperm donor", that person is a complete stranger to you and it isn't important that you meet them. That's where she's coming from.

The people irate right now as of this writing fall under number 17 on this list.

17. Anyone else who thinks it is important to tell children their father is not their biological father or that there is some long lost half sibling out there somewhere.

If some of them are honest, they've always hated her for other reasons. This is just their latest excuse.

They are trying to cancel her, whining to SiriusXM, because their feewings were hurt.

If the link still works, you can listen to the "offending" call yourself here.

It's the Call of the Day for July 7, 2020. "My Mom Never Told Me The Truth" is the title. It's from an adult woman ("Torri") who found out that the man who raised her is not her biological father. By the caller's own account, he has been and still is a good father to her. She's upset with her mother for not telling her before. Dr. Laura told the caller that if her mother had called, Dr. Laura would advise against telling her. Dr. Laura's reasoning is that it was the mother's private life, she made a mistake, she repaired it, gave Torri a wonderful man to her raise her, and it was good for Torri to stay bonded to "this incredible man" to make her feel secure and loved. She told Torri she was being insensitive and ungrateful and she should beg her mother to forgive her.

So what's the problem?

The caller touches on it when she says her mother lied to her about it her entire life. Dr. Laura's position is that honesty about things like this isn't as important as the bond between the child and the father they have. (Dr. Laura didn't bring this point up, but what if the caller had been conceived in an exhibitionist romp on a subway train in front of onlookers? Would mom be obligated to be "honest" about that?)

The angry mob consists of people who use the acronym "NPE". This means "Not Parent Expected". These people appear to worship DNA, so you can see how this is a problem.

They echo the caller about "being lied to their entire life". They say she "Has a right to her story."

Story? How about this: some of her ancestry involves rape. She probably has ancestors who murdered people. Why does that matter??? Her story is what she does with her life.

Some of these people claim they were traumatized by finding out they had a different biological parent than they thought.

You know, I've been thinking about this the last couple of years. I have no reason to believe my mother was unfaithful to my father, but I would not be shocked (and certainly not traumatized) if I found out one of my father's brothers is really my biological father. I'd still consider my dad my dad. This one uncle and I share a lot of characteristics. Of course, I share plenty with my father, too. But this uncle has always lived in a different state. The man who raised me, my dad, is my dad... period.

My only possible quibble with the call was that Dr. Laura said the sperm donor couldn't have been the greatest guy, because he wasn't there. She said mom "did the wrong thing with a jerk." There is the possibility, however slight, that the caller's mother was married to a good guy, didn't tell him she was pregnant, left him, and found the new guy. Chances are, though, that it was just a matter of casual fornication or perhaps the guy was her boyfriend and dumped her when she got pregnant.

While she sometimes pretends otherwise, Dr. Laura knows information about the caller's situation that might never make it on the air. That's because calls are screened and the screener puts the information into a computer and Dr. Laura sees that on her screen. In many cases, the call happened because someone emailed the show or made an appointment on the website. This might have been one of those times it would have been good for Dr. Laura to tell listeners what other information the caller had given.

How do people end up in "NPE" situations?

Adoption. When the child is adopted by both parents, Dr.  Laura has encouraged letting them know from the start, explaining how wonderful adoption is. The difference here is that both parents aren't the biological parents. If people follow Dr. Laura's advice with this, there won't be any trauma.

Sperm or egg donation, affair, causal sex, early abandonment, etc. Dr. Laura says to keep it secret, if possible. IF these people never found out about their biological parent, they'd never be traumatized. So, if Dr. Laura's advice is followed in these cases, there still won't be any trauma.

Since people are bringing up the same old crap to bash Dr. Laura, I will point to what I wrote here.