What Marriages Does My Son See?

Over and over again, we are told that our sons will see how to be a husband by how we behave towards our wife.

What does my son see?

He sees that I work, I also do almost all of the chores and errands, and that his mother mostly sits around watching television and playing games, and spends a little time on a hobby. He sees that I get up every day, often early. He sees that his mom usually sleeps in. He sees us kiss, but he doesn't see his mother seeing me off, welcoming me back, or doing just about anything for me. When she asks him to do something for her that I would do if I was there, he sometimes tells her that she's capable of doing it herself.

So what about other marriages?

We had my wife's sibling and the sibling's spouse living with us for a while. That marriage ended in disaster.

My wife has another married sibling. My son also see the husband in that situation doing most of the heavy lifting, and the wife, who is obese, being bitchy.

I have a married sibling. The husband in that marriage literally spends most of the time out of town, away from the wife.

OK, what about the grandparents? Well let's see. With one set, there was the drunk wife and, if my son ever finds out, and he probably will, the husband messed around with other women through part of the marriage. With the other set, there was a divorce, so he sees a lot of his grandmother and how she's doing just fine without a man and isn't even dating. He spends little time with his grandfather and his wife, who isn't the most pleasant person.

There's another marriage in the family he's seen. Again, the husband is doing most of the heavy lifting, including taking care of the kids, while the wife doesn't really seem to care about her husband or even living with him.

"But there's marriages in the media he watches, right?" Ha! Have you noticed how husbands are depicted in media these days? Please!

On the other hand, my son also sees his never-married aunts and uncles living good, fun lives, for the most part. They aren't grumpy and grouchy like married people he knows.

What do you think my son is learning?

I haven't talked with him about any of this.

He's well aware of the misandry, though. He became aware of that all on his own, bless him.

Do you think he's going to be looking to get married when he's of age?

[This entry has been bumped up and things are pretty much still the same.]