That brings me to something I find a bit frustrating, but I have to paint a detailed picture to explain it.
So what's the problem?
The Christian ideal is perfect purity, in both thought and action, which Christianity also says none of us achieves in this life (only Jesus was an is without sin, although traditional Christianity says Jesus never married). So it is entirely reasonable that Christians would promote a rule as true and the right way even if they haven’t always lived up to it. If anyone actually lives by all of these rules, it is a very small number of people. I’d think if someone did live by all of these, and they were honest, they’d admit that marital lovemaking was not great at first; that it took a long time for things to get good (if they ever did). Oh, they might have thought they were good at first, because they are comparing it to... nothing. A starving man is going to think plain steamed white rice is delicious, even if it is crunchy. Likely, there are a lot of problems. But you know what? The kind of people who did things this way will claim that those problems were blessings because it was something they had to work through as a couple ("It made us grow!"). Funny, though, they never ask to be dropped in a remote jungle together, where they can work through getting back to civilization together.
It’s not helpful to respond to “It’s so hard to have sex now that we have kids.” or "Marriage is so hard!" with “Ha ha, yeah, it’s like that. Didn’t anyone tell you? Well, you’re just going to have to deal with that. Your parties sure were nice!” It’s ridiculous to harp on a husband who is ogling centerfolds (a supposed violation of 8b) when his wife is sexually rejecting him (rule 10), but can she really be blamed if she had to suppress every sexual thought for 15 years? People violating rule 1 is preferable to them violating rule 3 and then rule 7b.
Anyone is welcome to comment, as always, but I'll be especially interested in what others who are "traditional" or "religious or social conservatives", or used to be, have to say.