Monday, November 21, 2016

Do I HAVE to Get Away?

It's my turn to plan a getaway for just the two of us - no kids.

And I have no desire to actually do it.

Even though it is my turn, my wife had originally asked to do the planning. Her secret plans fell apart, though, because she's fighting with one of her siblings and so there went one of our babysitters that we needed. It is just as well, considering the vacation would have been too expensive and created a situation where we'd either be carrying a balance for many months on our credit cards, or we'd need to liquidate some of our investment savings and take a big tax hit to pay off the credit cards. So that vacation would  have been a net stress on me.

I've written before about dreading and then suffering through a vacation with the the whole family and her family several years back.

We had a bad family vacation earlier this year.

But this is just the two of us, so it should be great, right?

Eh... I just don't see it. Much of what I like to do is stuff I can do at home, and many of those things I can do by myself. Her physical abilities are limited, which makes everything more difficult. In my wayward youth, it would have been nice just to get a hotel and fornicate much of the day. For this getaway, we're likely to spend two night and more than two days away and we might not even have sex at all. If we do, it probably will be a "let's get this over with" sort of thing on her part, within some very narrow boundaries. We haven't done it for weeks, and about a day after our last session she said some really horrible things to me, many of which were repeat statements, and are the kinds of things that make a penis want to avoid the woman who says them. So, I'm supposed to do all sorts of mental/emotional gymnastics to get aroused for her, and... for what? For mercy sex?

And then there's the talking. Or, more likely, communicating. Thanks to technology, we can always communicate. It isn't like we have to get away to do it. Most of our communication is dealing with the tasks of a home and family life - really boring stuff. There's also her nagging me about how I screwed something up or need to change. I don't bother telling her how I'd like her to change. It's pointless. And then there's more pleasant stuff like talking about the news.

So what exactly are we going to do on this getaway? Why bother? I guess the only reason is to simply get away from the kids (which we can send elsewhere anyway... at least usually) and the dog, and her sibling and in-law who live with us whom I'm subsidizing.

Don't be like me, guys. This is married life.

OK, so what would I be doing if I was unmarried? I'd probably be traveling to some of my favorite places or to some place I hadn't been before but wanted to go, where I could have lots of fun with little hassle or resistance, probably meeting up with friends. I could afford to do those things if I wasn't supporting a wife, kids, and in-laws.


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