Read the introduction to this series here.
15)
How should the division of labor be delineated between husband and wife
when the husband works full time (and perhaps plus) as the sole income
earner and the wife is a full-time ”stay-at-home” mom?
Just
shy of 18 minutes into the first hour of the January 22 show/podcast,
Dr. Laura took a call from a woman who is married with five children.
The wife was calling to say that her husband, the sole income earner,
doesn’t do enough of the domestic chores. Dr. Laura indicated that this
husband was a terrible guy for not doing some of the domestic chores.
Okay, I understand Dr. Laura’s opinion on that. I do some of the domestic chores at home despite being the sole income earner.
Except…
I’ve heard (recently, mind you) Dr. Laura respond to another SAHM
complaining that her income-earner hubby wasn’t doing domestic chores by
asking if the caller was ready to go into the office and do some of her
husband’s work for him. Dr. Laura made it clear that the domestic
chores were the responsibility of the SAHM.
Why the difference in answers?
Is
there a magic number of children that make domestic chores part of the
husband’s role? I think whenever Dr. Laura hears “five children” it
triggers thoughts of Andrea Yates. She’s even brought Yates up with other calls. Dr.
Laura readily admits one child was enough work for her. So, if it is a
matter of the number of children, does it matter who pushed to have that
many children? And what if a SAHM caller sounds overwhelmed with one or
two children? Surely it is possible for a woman to pull an Andrea Yates
even if she only has one or two children. Many have.
Friday, January 24, 2014
1 comment:
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I heard this call also. I think if the dad takes the kids off the mom's hands some in the evenings and on the weekend so she can get some time to herself, that would be good. Loading a dishwasher after dinner is simple...loading a dishwasher while dealing with 5 kids is not even close. For me personally, I would rather have that than for him to do the dishes himself or even with me. If he is coming home and ignoring the kids and still expecting her to do all the household stuff, even if he is the breadwinner that is not cool. Housework can be her job, his job can be his, but raising the kids should be both of their jobs. Nothing wrong with tag teaming child care so the other one can get something done that they need to do. And personally, I don't care how nice the wife presents the "I'm done for the day", I think the husband will see right through it.
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