I'm a 27-year-old professional who works long hours at a hospital.
She probably doesn't remember Anita Hill, because she is too young.
Dating isn't easy for me, so I decided to try an online service.
That's understandable, given the hours.
My first time online I recognized a co-worker I see on a regular basis and have always exchanged smiles with, but don't know personally. I wrote him a message just to say hi.
BZZZZZT WRONG! Well, since you're female and most of HR is female, you have nothing to worry about. But you shouldn't have done that.
I didn't say I was interested in him. I never heard back from him.
He's trying not to get fired and sued.
Since I sent that message he has checked my profile several times.
He shouldn't do that. He's risking his job, his finances, and putting your employer at risk.
But when he sees me in the hallways, he turns red and now just gives me half-smiles.
He should ignore you completely.
I was waiting at the elevator with him the other day, but he was so embarrassed by the silence that I bailed and took the stairs.
That was merciful of you.
He continues to smile, but I'm not sure what to say to him the next time I see him.
Nothing. Do not interact with him at all. Unless you want to get him fired and score some money from suing your employer.
I think it's rude that he didn't reply to my message -- even with a "See you around!" -- but I'm too embarrassed to do or say anything when I encounter him.
Yeah, well, welcome to the world creating by laws, courts, lawsuits, and employer policies. Never mind that people have met their spouses on the job. Now, whether or not a man keeps his job or an employer has to pay out is entirely up to the whims of a woman. Man A can say X, Y, and Z to a woman and get fired. Man B can say the exact same thing to the exact same woman and get laid. It is all up to her whims. It doesn't matter if you wouldn't get the man fired or sue your employer - the fact is, you can. And some women do. Besides, you might become one of those women if you dated him and then he dumped you. It is just too risky for men. This is what we're doing to our brothers and sons, as well as our sisters and daughters who would, in the past, find a good husband on the job.
Men used to say X, Y, and Z to each other and there was no problem. Now, if a woman overhears them saying that to each other, they can get fired.
Dear Abby responded:
The next time you run into him in the hall, just say hello. If he has any manners at all, he'll return your greeting and it may melt the ice.
Easy for you to say, DA. You don't have a penis (as far as I know). It's not about manners. It is about survival. Enjoy the world that lawyers, juries, "sensitive" men, and anti-male feminists (not all feminists are anti-male) have created. It's great, isn't it?