Dear Abby Assumes Almost All Women are Sluts

Let’s check in on Dear Abby, shall we?

Couple’s Views on Sex Don’t Bode Well For Their Future
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DEAR ABBY: I am a 28-year-old woman and have been dating a 26-year-old man I'll call "Chris" for four months. We have become good friends. On our last date, the topic of sex came up, and Chris told me that he was a virgin and
that it was very important for him to find a girl who had "never been with anyone"
either.

Well, Abby, that bridge was burned when I was a teenager.

That’s when you say “Goodbye.” But noooooo… you had to hope he would change his mind.

I was honest with Chris about it, which was not easy because I now regret some of the poor choices I made at that time of my life. I am a completely different person now due to a religious conversion and am waiting until I am married to have sex again.

I told Chris this, and asked if he wanted to continue the relationship.

He had already given you an answer. You just didn’t want to hear it.

His answer was he'd "have to think about it." We are still friends. He says he likes me and still wants us to date.

Do you really want a man who “changes” his convictions so easily? I can guarantee you this will be an issue down the road.

However, although I care deeply for him, I now feel devalued.

So you are upset because your ego was brought down to reality?

I'm afraid this issue is going to cause problems in the future.

It will. It will. It will. Go find someone who is compatible with you.

I believe that purity is an issue more of the heart than the body. If I had known that virginity was so important to Chris, I would never have dated him in the first place.

Well you know now. Time to move on. Really, are you so repulsive that you can’t find anyone else?

I can't change the past, and I have strong opinions about men who sing "Amazing Grace" in church while insisting on marrying virgins.

That, along with your statement about “more of the heart than the body” is ridiculous. What if a man had a past filled with substance abuse? What if a man had a history of molesting children? What if he had a history of cheating on his girlfriends? What if he had a history of beating his girlfriends? What if he had a bunch of kids running around out there with psycho ex-girlfriends…but his “heart” was “pure”? Would you still marry him? Give me a break. He said he wants to marry a virgin. There’s nothing hypocritical in a Christian believing in grace and still wanting to marry a virgin.

Marriage is a choice, not a necessity, not an obligation. He doesn’t have to marry you. He can hold out for a woman with a certain hair color, a certain weight, a certain body type, a certain height, and a certain sexual history. Same goes for you!

Okay, well let’s see how “Abby” handled this one.

DEAR "DEE": Cross Chris off your list as husband material.

Right! That’s all you need to say.

Your friend may be self-conscious about his lack of experience or his old-fashioned values. It's the old double standard, and even some men who have sown acres of wild oats feel this way.

While most men today have more sophisticated thinking about sex, the one you are dating has his heart set on a "sweet old-fashioned girl."

“Sophisticated”? Is that the euphemism for it now?

If that's what he wants, it's his privilege -- provided he can find one.

He can find one if he tries. Some women save sex for marriage. The trick is finding a woman who was able to do it despite her libido and attractiveness.