Wary of What She Wears

Dear Abby got a letter from a guy about how his steady dresses. TRYING TO LOOSEN UP IN NORTH CAROLINA wrote:

I have been involved with "Barbie" for about six months. She's everything I ever wanted in a mate. We have a similar sense of humor, and our goals and ambitions are almost identical. Our values match, too

Sounds great, although six months is not long enough to be sure about these things.

except for one: My sense of propriety seems to be a stumbling block.

Abby, Barbie wears sheer tops and no bra. She doesn't usually wear any undergarments, either, even when she's in a fairly short skirt.

Hey, I'm an admirer of the female form, but this would be way too much for me.

Barbie says I've got hang-ups, and I don't necessarily disagree. How can I deal with this?

There's a reason she’s dressing like that. Either she is trying to tempt you (unless, of course, you are already fornicating) or she is trying to get lustful attention from other guys. Either way, it is a bad sign. She could be insecure.

Dear Abby responded:

If she cares about you, she will compromise. That's how you "deal with it."

Actually, if she cares about being with him more than she wants to show herself off, she will compromise. Note that she attracted him while dressing like this. It wasn't enough of a problem for him to prevent him from asking her out on date after date.

I don't think people dating each other should "control" each other. He can stop going out with her, and can explain why. It is up to her if she wants to change or not.

Legally, I think women (and men, for that matter) should have significant freedom in how they dress in public. But just because a woman can dress a certain way doesn't mean she should. And while it is up to a man to discipline his thoughts, it is that much harder to do so when a woman's "goodies" are right there in our face.

Ladies, when you are dating, there's nothing wrong with wearing something that flatters your figure (I'm a sucker for tight jeans) – but that doesn't mean actually displaying your flesh so that everyone can see if the carpet matches the drapes (or if there are hardwood floors) or the coloring of your areola.

Later, being married with kids does make it harder to "dress sexy", but you shouldn't give it up entirely, either. Just don't mislead people into thinking you are advertising for a husband when you already have one.