He's a Little Late in Ending This

This guy is complaining about his girlfriend constantly being tardy and losing things. I was always on time for everything... before I had kids. And I am literally compulsive about checking to make sure I don't lose things. If you were hanging around me, you'd see me checking my pockets often. LOSING PATIENCE IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST wrote to Dear Abby:

I have been in a seven-year relationship with "Maddy," which will probably end soon because she can't seem to stick to any kind of routine. Maddy is in her mid-30s, the youngest in a large family, and grew up without any kind of responsibilities.

So you've been dating her for seven years now, since she was in her mid to late 20s, when she should have been looking for a husband, if that is what she wants. Nice.

She's always misplacing and losing things -- watches, cameras, jewelry, etc. Her mail goes unopened and her bills get paid late even though she has plenty of money.

You should have noticed all of this fairly early on, and realized this was not a match for you.

Maddy thinks I'm "controlling" because I get frustrated when we have to be somewhere at a specified time and she's always late.

Uh huh…

I have planned entire weekends with dinner reservations and events scheduled and let her know what time we need to leave. When the time comes, she's not even packed yet. Worse, she can't understand my irritation. Is this relationship worth saving -- or my sanity?

You should have ended this a long time ago. You don't want a lifetime of this.

My guess is that this guy thought she would get better as she matured – perhaps he thought it was “cute” at first. Or, it is possible that he simply wants to trade her in for a younger model (notice, we don't have his age, though he mentions hers) and this is his excuse. He was able to tolerate this stuff because she was younger and hotter and good in bed. But now she's well out of her 20s* and she's probably getting complacent and dropping things out of her sexual arsenal... probably getting less and less enthusiastic and taking more and more effort on his part to get her to climax. Dumping her means he gets to go on the hunt again, experience a new, younger body, and have that New Relationship Energy again.

*If you’ve read some of my better past entries, you know I enjoyed the company of women of various ages, including into their 40s and 50s when I was in my 20s. But many men, especially in Category 4, see 30 as the "expiration date" when it comes to women. For them, it is downhill from there. And now that she's in her mid-30s, her options are dropping away.