Sorry, I'm late getting this message out this year, with the lockdowns and all. But some places are opening up, so this message is once again relevant.
Wedding season, gentlemen. Maybe you’re scheduled to be the groom.
Maybe a man you care about is scheduled to be a groom.
Maybe a woman you’re "seeing" or "with" is expecting you to be her date for a wedding or weddings.
Obviously, the first situation is the most dire.
If you are scheduled to get married... Hey, if you’re a loser with no plans of your own, no dreams, no direction in your life, or you’re old/sick/decrepit, then maybe you should go ahead and get married. Just make sure she earns more than you during the marriage and don’t expect it to last.
Do you really have a lot of free time and too much money? Do you want less free time, less money, less control over your life? Do you want to alienate friends and family? If so, go through with the wedding. Have at it. The truth is, you don’t need a wife. And if you do want the company of women, you can get women hotter than her. Your social desirability is on the increase. If she's older than 25, hers is on the decrease. This is just a fact of life, whether anyone likes it or not. The way things are today, you can have the companionship of hotter women and not spend a lot of your time and money to get it.
It’s not too late to bail out of your planned wedding and to avoid marriage. Whatever money you lose because of expenses already incurred and nonrefundable deposits will be a small price to pay. How much money will you be spending if you go through with your wedding and honeymoon? Even if someone else is covering all of that, being married is expensive for a man. At least half of everything you'll earn will be hers. She will "need" to buy all sorts of goods and services you don't want. And if you get divorced, you'll be paying for her lawyers as well as your own, and some judge will determine how much money you're going to pay her after it's over. Call it off. She’ll probably hate you. Say nasty things about you. Again, that's a small price to pay. She might even marry some other guy quickly, especially one of her male "friends", which will prove you dodged a bullet and that it was just about her needing to be married, not about you at all.
If you made the mistake of living with her, having accounts with her, or signing loans/contracts with her, you’ll need to get out of those. It might be a hassle, but in the long run, you'll be far better off.
No explanation is required. Don’t let her attempt to shame or guilt or argue you back into it. Tell anyone else who asks it is a private matter and you're not going to discuss it. As for her, stick to: “I’m not getting married. Please honor my decision.” It doesn't matter how much she cries or screeches "Why?!?" Just like women can change their mind, including about sex, you can change yours. If she threatens you, physically attacks you, stalks you, engages in defamation/slander/libel, harassment, vandalism, or even tries to release pics or vids of you as revenge porn, document everything and see about the possibilities of filing a police report and/or getting a restraining order, and/or suing her.
Whatever you do, don’t let her near your sperm. In fact, don’t meet with her alone and don’t let her into your place. If she shows up where you are, start recording with your phone.
Whether you think or feel that you love her is irrelevant. You need to think about what's best for you. Remember that you're going to be a free man. Freedom is better than what our culture now calls marriage.
Now, probably, you technically asked her to marry you. If she brings that up, just stick to the response: "I’m sorry, I’m not getting married. Please honor my decision." If she threatens to kill herself, call 9-1-1.
Some of this, below, applies to you.
If a man you care about is scheduled to get married... This is a tough one. You can send him links to blogs like this one. You can send him this. You can send him what I wrote above. You can send him links to comments and discussions from men who are miserably married or going through nasty divorces or who are divorced and warning other men not to marry. It probably won't work. He's in loooooooooove! He can beat the odds! He won't fail, like so many people he knows!
Your buddy probably won’t listen. But try telling him this: "Most marriages fail. You don't have to do this. I'm warning you that it's probably a mistake. I’m not going to hound you about this. I just ask that you remember I warned you, and when she's dumped you or you've had enough, I won't rub it in. We can hang out like old times again." Do you go to the wedding? Ideally, people who support the wedding would attend. But if you don't attend, his wife will use it as an excuse to alienate you. So it's not an easy decision to make. Giving him a wild bachelor party a week or two before the wedding that his wife-to-be hears details about or sees pictures or video of is NOT the way to prevent the wedding and would be very, very wrong. So don't do it. It would be wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Never mind that she's probably going to take a stripper's penis into her mouth at her bachelorette party. If you do go to the wedding, DO NOT take a woman (other than your mother or sister). Which brings us to... If a woman is expecting you to be her wedding date... Unless she's your mother or sister or your wife (why are you married?!?) , it's a really bad sign when a woman wants you to be her wedding date. It means she thinks of you as hers, like she owns you, and thinks you're going to marry her someday. How did things get this way? If you're seeing a woman on a regular basis, it shouldn't be much more than you dropping in to her place, spending no more time there than necessary, and getting back out without her, all under the cover of the night sky. She should not be thinking of you as a wedding date. Let some sucker take her to the wedding, just like you should let some sucker buy her dinner. Tell her you won't be able to make it. If she won't accept that, then you'll have to ghost her (which means that you disappear from her life, preferably without explanation). That's easier to do when they don't know where you really live, which they shouldn't. Don't be afraid to lose a woman over this. Think ahead, guys. June will be here before you know it. Don't let "wedding season" ruin your life.
Wedding season, gentlemen. Maybe you’re scheduled to be the groom.
Maybe a man you care about is scheduled to be a groom.
Maybe a woman you’re "seeing" or "with" is expecting you to be her date for a wedding or weddings.
Obviously, the first situation is the most dire.
If you are scheduled to get married... Hey, if you’re a loser with no plans of your own, no dreams, no direction in your life, or you’re old/sick/decrepit, then maybe you should go ahead and get married. Just make sure she earns more than you during the marriage and don’t expect it to last.
Do you really have a lot of free time and too much money? Do you want less free time, less money, less control over your life? Do you want to alienate friends and family? If so, go through with the wedding. Have at it. The truth is, you don’t need a wife. And if you do want the company of women, you can get women hotter than her. Your social desirability is on the increase. If she's older than 25, hers is on the decrease. This is just a fact of life, whether anyone likes it or not. The way things are today, you can have the companionship of hotter women and not spend a lot of your time and money to get it.
It’s not too late to bail out of your planned wedding and to avoid marriage. Whatever money you lose because of expenses already incurred and nonrefundable deposits will be a small price to pay. How much money will you be spending if you go through with your wedding and honeymoon? Even if someone else is covering all of that, being married is expensive for a man. At least half of everything you'll earn will be hers. She will "need" to buy all sorts of goods and services you don't want. And if you get divorced, you'll be paying for her lawyers as well as your own, and some judge will determine how much money you're going to pay her after it's over. Call it off. She’ll probably hate you. Say nasty things about you. Again, that's a small price to pay. She might even marry some other guy quickly, especially one of her male "friends", which will prove you dodged a bullet and that it was just about her needing to be married, not about you at all.
If you made the mistake of living with her, having accounts with her, or signing loans/contracts with her, you’ll need to get out of those. It might be a hassle, but in the long run, you'll be far better off.
No explanation is required. Don’t let her attempt to shame or guilt or argue you back into it. Tell anyone else who asks it is a private matter and you're not going to discuss it. As for her, stick to: “I’m not getting married. Please honor my decision.” It doesn't matter how much she cries or screeches "Why?!?" Just like women can change their mind, including about sex, you can change yours. If she threatens you, physically attacks you, stalks you, engages in defamation/slander/libel, harassment, vandalism, or even tries to release pics or vids of you as revenge porn, document everything and see about the possibilities of filing a police report and/or getting a restraining order, and/or suing her.
Whatever you do, don’t let her near your sperm. In fact, don’t meet with her alone and don’t let her into your place. If she shows up where you are, start recording with your phone.
Whether you think or feel that you love her is irrelevant. You need to think about what's best for you. Remember that you're going to be a free man. Freedom is better than what our culture now calls marriage.
Now, probably, you technically asked her to marry you. If she brings that up, just stick to the response: "I’m sorry, I’m not getting married. Please honor my decision." If she threatens to kill herself, call 9-1-1.
Some of this, below, applies to you.
If a man you care about is scheduled to get married... This is a tough one. You can send him links to blogs like this one. You can send him this. You can send him what I wrote above. You can send him links to comments and discussions from men who are miserably married or going through nasty divorces or who are divorced and warning other men not to marry. It probably won't work. He's in loooooooooove! He can beat the odds! He won't fail, like so many people he knows!
Your buddy probably won’t listen. But try telling him this: "Most marriages fail. You don't have to do this. I'm warning you that it's probably a mistake. I’m not going to hound you about this. I just ask that you remember I warned you, and when she's dumped you or you've had enough, I won't rub it in. We can hang out like old times again." Do you go to the wedding? Ideally, people who support the wedding would attend. But if you don't attend, his wife will use it as an excuse to alienate you. So it's not an easy decision to make. Giving him a wild bachelor party a week or two before the wedding that his wife-to-be hears details about or sees pictures or video of is NOT the way to prevent the wedding and would be very, very wrong. So don't do it. It would be wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Never mind that she's probably going to take a stripper's penis into her mouth at her bachelorette party. If you do go to the wedding, DO NOT take a woman (other than your mother or sister). Which brings us to... If a woman is expecting you to be her wedding date... Unless she's your mother or sister or your wife (why are you married?!?) , it's a really bad sign when a woman wants you to be her wedding date. It means she thinks of you as hers, like she owns you, and thinks you're going to marry her someday. How did things get this way? If you're seeing a woman on a regular basis, it shouldn't be much more than you dropping in to her place, spending no more time there than necessary, and getting back out without her, all under the cover of the night sky. She should not be thinking of you as a wedding date. Let some sucker take her to the wedding, just like you should let some sucker buy her dinner. Tell her you won't be able to make it. If she won't accept that, then you'll have to ghost her (which means that you disappear from her life, preferably without explanation). That's easier to do when they don't know where you really live, which they shouldn't. Don't be afraid to lose a woman over this. Think ahead, guys. June will be here before you know it. Don't let "wedding season" ruin your life.
A long but excellent advice. Keep this articles coming Ken.
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