Does This Deter Teen Girls From Fornicating?

Dr. Laura, who has an awesome program and does a lot of good, has been consistent in recent decades about what she tells teen girls and what she tells their parents to tell them about sex.

I think it was the second hour of the program from Monday, September 9, 2019 that she got a call from a mother who'd heard from her sister that her (the caller's) daughter had sex with her boyfriend of about six months and that the daughter was planning to tell her. [This entry has been bumped up.]

Dr. Laura told the caller/mother to tell her daughter:

1) He's told all his buddies
2) Other boys are going to want to get into her also
3) There's nothing special, sublime, or sacred about what they did
4) Animals do the same thing
5) There's no love or commitment attached to it
6) Now you have a reputation
7) Boys talk about it
8) The next time you date you're going to want to do it again because the bar is down and it's less meaningful
9) By the time you marry you'll probably have a pregnancy or STD.

Do these messages deter teen girls today from having sex? I have my doubts.

Sex is usually fun, and not just for guys. Dr. Laura seems to understand that when she's telling wives to have sex with their husbands. Not having a wedding ring on doesn't remove all enjoyment from sex, especially from a women or girl who doesn't have moral qualms about fornicating. Ignoring one of the main motivations to do something is probably going to diminish the effectiveness of a message.

Let's look at the points more closely.

He's told all of his buddies. So what? How many 16 year-old girls in the USA/Canada haven't had sex, especially if we take Utah out of the equation? Why would she care if his buddies know? She's telling her friends. There is no stigma. It's expected. It's often assumed. This isn't the 1950s. I don't say that to say it is OK for teens to fornicate. I say that because we're living a much different culture now.

Other boys are going to want to get into her also. As Dr. Laura has said to others, they already do want that. OK, sure, now they know they can. But they already thought they could. She's probably counting on that, and sees it as an advantage. Being in demand has rewards.

There's nothing special, sublime, or sacred about what they did. Same goes for going to the beach or eating ice cream, but she probably likes to do those things, too. As she sees it, her options were: 1) Do nothing. 2) Masturbate. 3) Have some fun with her boyfriend, which can be even more pleasurable than masturbating. She picked door number three.

Animals do the same thing. Animals eat, defecate, sleep, etc. and she does those things, too. So what? Animals can be pregnant and give birth, too. Does that mean those things aren't worthwhile? (I know the answer... in the context of marriage, it is great.)

There's no love or commitment attached to it. She probably sees that as an advantage. This is not a situation of a girl hoping to marry the high school quarterback after graduating high school and staying put in the same small town for the rest of her life. Many females like sex. They are attracted to men. They want to do these things with them, and many females want to do these things with many men before they "settle down" with one.

Now you have a reputation. It pays to advertise! It's the same reputation as most of the rest of the girls in school, and not considered shameful.

Boys talk about it. Yes they do. It goes something like this:

Boy One: So, you getting any yet?

Boy Two: Yeah, finally.

Boy One: Really? Great. Hey, wanna get pizza?

Meanwhile, she's telling her friends about her boyfriend's moles and the veins on his appendage.

The next time you date you're going to want to do it again because the bar is down and it's less meaningful. Well, of course she's going to want to do it again. Telling a girl she's going to want to do something again is not a deterrent. Saying it's less meaningful isn't going to discourage her when she can experience pleasure. She won't know what the heck you mean by "meaningful" but she'll know if her toes are curling.

By the time you marry you'll probably have a pregnancy or STD. Legit concerns, but will they deter her, especially when she can minimize her risks and there are wives all around her who were clearly fornicating from the age of 16 and seem to be doing alright in life now?

Dr. Laura usually gets it right and has effective advice, but I think this is one of those areas in which she needs to refresh her tactics. Teens fornicating is no longer seen as edgy, something to keep secret, shameful, etc. A 16 year-old girl having sex with her boyfriend isn't going to be labeled slutty or easy. She's considered normal. This is what parents have to deal with now.